I read a very interesting and equally disturbing article today. I am one of those people, who goes to Msn and reads about relationships, wellness and the like. I call this learning by example, because I see the mistakes people make… wrong judgements about health, diets,relationships and clothes. Although there is a possibility that the reading can get obsessive, as well as the fact that some of it does not apply to people with eastern values….I am prepared to do it.
So back to the article-
This was one about saving a marriage….a marriage between two mild-mannered professionals.
In short, the woman had a miscarriage, and chose a house that the husband did not like. She was also a very organised person.
In short, the man was someone who never conveyed his feelings about anything and ultimately cheated on her by having sex with his paralegal.
I don’t get it. How do men go thinking like “I don’t want to have children, I hate this house” to “I think I’ll sleep with this other woman to get even with the missus”
I swear to God it makes me so mad! I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritties of the story. Even though, I believe that in most fights a couple has, each party is to blame to a certain extent- I maintain that when one person cheats on another, he/she is solely to blame.
People cheat to:
- get even
- because the sex with the steady is not that great
- because they hate the color of the wall (or any other lousy thing they can blame the other person for)
What they fail to realise is:
1. Taking the high road is more satisfying
2. The sex is not great probably because they suck at it just as much as the other (it takes 2)
3. They could have talked out their lousy issues and this never would have happened in the first place.
I happen to believe that any man who cheats on a loving caring wife is a complete bastard who deserves to have his balls cut off so he never ever never hurts another woman again. I also happen to believe that women who intentionally have sex with married men should drown themselves because living with the guilt of ruining an innocent person’s family should make you feel dirty. I think you should go one way or the other…if your marriage is not working out for some reason, you should get a divorce and start afresh. Or you should make a conscious effort to work it out. Having something “on the side” just goes to prove that you’re selfish. All I can say is that if it is indeed so right to cheat on a woman (because she is a control freak or because she is bad in bed ..or whatever), if it is absolutely justified to do this sorta thing, then why not come clean with it? Why do they hide it? Am I right to think that people hide certain parts of their life because they know they’d be shunned if they didnt?
I also think this whole sex issue is a loada baloney. First of all, some men should be thanking God everyday simply for getting laid. Second of all, I don’t buy this whole thing about enjoying something more because its taboo. I think we induce ourselves into thinking that way. I think I would get equally drunk in a country where alcohol is legal as I would in a place where it wasnt. Its the same for sex. An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. Yes, some people are better in bed than others….but stick with the hand that you’re dealt. If you can’t, quit playing, but don’t cheat!
Relationships require effort and patience, honesty and communication. You shouldnt be able to get away by saying ” It was just sex, but I still love you”. As Robin Williams would say ,”That’s like you’re moving away from your parents, but you’d still like them to send you money”
Drops of Jupiter (More like touch of Thor, eh?)