I am so sick and tired of stupid women. Intelligent women are so hard to come by these days, its no wonder men don’t take us seriously sometimes. See, usually, the only reason you see me blogging nine-to-ninety about every issues under the sun, from what color shirt to match with new trousers to what to do about thirs world debt… is because most of the times, I am unable to have intelligent conversations with the women around me. For example, I may start out the conversation like this, did you hear about the violence in kashmir yesterday? and the reply would be..This mirror makes me look thinner. After which I proceed to maime myself and gouge my ears out so I have never to listen to such incoherence.
Why do most women not read the news? Fine, don’t spend hours pouring over every single detail..but know whats going on! I can’t quote yesterday’s temperature accurate to the third decimal, but at least I know whats going in my own country or others for that matter. Another thing missing in many women is real empathy. This means that a woman may feel absolutely sorry for you because you lost an expensive earring while getting pissdrunk in the club, but if your house in India drowned in the flood, she’d say…Oh!thats not good.
Talk about an understatement.
I am trying very hard right now to detach myself from the situation and consciously not provide real life examples to prove my point. But it really disturbs me to see this alarmingly populous species of stupid women. These are not unemployed failures or college dropouts or anything of the sort. Seemingly smart, working good jobs in great firms, and they don’t know shit about shit. Women who think cellulite is a far greater problem than deforestation, sales a far greater boon than electricity. Sometimes I wonder, if a one-to-one conversation can be so engaging that I want to eat my own hands, can you imagine whats its like in their head? I mean the sheer magnitude of incoherence in their minds would make George Bush spasm helplessly.
The trouble I’m having is… I actually want to have intelligent conversations, and walk away saying “hmm…now thats worth a thought.” But I am forced to do what the Romans do… i.e. either a) talk about fashion and/or b) talk about my boyfriend and/or c) talk about weight loss
For example, My boyfriend bought me this beautiful dress from bcbg but it doesnt fit so I gotta lose some weight. I’m like soooooooooo fat….
And I don’t enjoy most parts of that sentence.
Most, correction ALL women complain about how fat they are. You know that. Another thing women do, and they seem pretty proud of it too, is bitch about how difficult it is to get clothes their size. NO MATTER WHAT THEIR SIZE. I am sorry but is it possible that every darned fashion house and every damned clothes factory is going horrible wrong and not making ANY clothes that fit? I don’t think so. Yes some people have trouble finding clothes, short girls like me.. busty girls in Asia or tiny skinny girls in Europe, but not EVERYBODY.
What is the problem here? “Oh you know, my ass is triangular and my legs are square so its hard for me to find any clothes.”
Translation”I am just trying to draw your attention to my perfectly shaped body and showing you how much weight I’ve lost. Please compliment me or I won’t stop ranting”
One day I am going to have a meltdown in a slumber party and it won’t be pretty. You have been warned.
Women find it surprisingly easy to start a conversation with each other with the phrase” I need to lose weight” This is followed by the usually scarce “real empathy”, and discussions of the entire groups different innovative weight loss plans, pilates, starving, pills, binging, puking. Each woman is then relieved that she was able to “connect” with the other in this engaging discussion. I have opted for another strategy. I stay quiet. This works in large groups and one-to-one discussions.
“I wanna lose weight”
“Hmm…I think I’ll do [insert rotten weightloss scheme]”
“Thinks its gonna rain?”
Although I have covered this subject of self-deprecation in my previous posts, clearly there is enough of this shit to go around. An entire gender of people is succumbing to mindless definitions of beauty…do your part…Stay silent.
Disclaimer: All incidents described in this post are non-fictional.Any resemblence to persons, living or dead is purely intentional. (Cliched but true)