All that jazz

Everyday, somebody with endless optimism has to ruin my day by sending me a friendship forward. You know what I do?
a) Delete, or
b) Forward with the subject “This is so lame”

Are people really so jobless as to photoshop some rotten Anne Geddes picture of a baby in a pumpkin costume or two little freak five year olds making out with the text “You mean the world to me-I am so glad to have you as my friend” ?
What bollocks. I hate those pictures. And I hate that instruction at the end…forward this to three-hundred and eighty nine of your friends to show them how much you care.
No thanks, Ill pass. Lame.

First of all, the whole baby-in-random-vegetable-and-animal-costumes was cute the FIRST time she did it.That’s it. Its not creative. Anne Geddes can go shove it.
And those stupid five year olds..Am I the only one who finds them disturbing? If I ran around kissing boys when I was five, my dad would’ve beaten the living daylights outta me.Once I got this black/white picture off Tragicomix of two grown-ups kissing. Trust me, its the only really cute kissing picture I’ve seen.

Secondly there are those lame forwards with ten sentences with dancing gif images after every sentence…like..
Your friend does the following stupid things when you’re sad/lonely/dumped/suicidal
1. Insert sappy action
Teddy bear dancing.gif
2. Insert seemingly touching lame gesture
Row of revolving smileys.gif and so on.

Thirdly, there are those that say “I just called to say I miss you”..with a sad story of two friends/lovers who died or got abducted by aliens or whatever before ever having the chance to express their true feelings..”Forward this to your friends before it is too late”
My ass..stop making this crap up!Nobody was that fucked up. And if they really were, then I say good riddance to bad rubbish

Friendship forwards should be sent only on Friendship day.There should be a law against people sending rotten forwards on any other day. I propose. I second.
Speaking of disturbing fowards, my colleague (who usually sends me funny video clips and ads) sent me a 7 minute video of a lady getting a bikini wax. WHAT THE FUCK! WHO WANTS TO SEE THAT???? I had to wash my eyes with Boric acid after watching that horror.

Instead of sending stupid mindless electronic garbage, I say take the time to write a personal email to your friends. Especially if you don’t live in the same city or country.A “Hi How are you? Long time..I got promoted/rejected/laid/dumped, What about you? Miss you” will make you a far better human being than reading those stupid forwards ever will. And even if it doesn’t, you can feel gratified kwowing that you did something personal to keep a friendship going. And if they died or got abducted by aliens, they’d say ” Well, at least my friend didn’t send me a lousy forward as a parting gift.”
Did you ever meet someone who said “I love making friends”.That’s crap too. You should be learning how to “keep” your friends, not just “making” them.

P.S. For those who asked, the shoe that took my breath away, the shoe that’s keeping me awake at night, the shoe that’s making me revaluate my life is now just a scroll-down away.


7 thoughts on “All that jazz

  1. Lol.. thats a good rant if i ever herd one. I hate those annoying emails too. Damn those animated characters that look like their heads are about to bob off! Your shoes look really classy btw… can I borrow them? lol…

  2. Hahahahaha…ROTF.And I just sent you one of those forwards. Cant stop laughing to myself :)Ok.. but I am totally jobless at work, and atleast emailing silly stuff to friends makes me look busy here. So I got an excuse 😉

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