I don’t believe in soulmates. It makes me immensely sad to even write that. I don’t know how to believe that there is someone out there JUST for you, just RIGHT for you, just right ONLY for you. Is this even possible? I’m not your average optimist, because even if there is some “good” in people, there is a whole lot of “bad” in people too. But let’s leave that aside. Ever so often, I go on and trash out this concept of soulmates, and here I go again.
Pop culture makes us believe that there truly is someone out there for you. Sex and the City makes you believe that everyone is entitled to two GREAT LOVES. Now two great loves, thats better than one. That’s twice the hope, and half the probability of getting it all wrong. But I’m a sceptic and I say Just two? What is this, the lottery?
What’s my definition of a soulmate?
Its really simple. Think of something you want to share with someone. Could be anything, an interest, a hobby, a house, a child, anything.In fact, think of all those things you want to share with someone. Your soulmate is that someone if he wants to let you share those things with him. And in turn, you want to share all the things he wants. The keyword here is ‘want’…If you don’t want three children and have them anyway because he said so-beeep.wrong answer.move on. I’m sure there are plenty of other age-appropriate situations I can think of here, but I’d rather not go there.
People tell me that relationships are about compromise. I hate compromise. For a woman, compromise always means surrender. And that’s why I don’t believe in soulmates. Because, in my Utopian romance, soulmates don’t have to compromise, they never look at it that way. A fight is when you want something, and your partner doesn’t want to let you have it. A compromise is when you convince yourself that it is OK to not get that something, because he doesn’t want you to have it..in short, a compromise is when one partner surrenders to see things the other’s way. Its totally not meeting halfway. There is no such thing as meeting half way. That is bullshit, and the sooner you stop believing, the better.
Compromises are not my thanggggg. But I do it sometimes, most of the time. And I don’t know why. Or when to draw the line. Or where. Maybe its because I don’t believe in soulmates. No soulmate= compromise. Soulmate= No compromise.
Damn bloody simple. Damn bloody depressing. You can have big fuckin walk in the park about all the love and romance, but if you want something from someone, and he can’t give you that, is it really worth it? I am not talking about act of physically giving something. Support, empathy, backing…sometimes, i feel like I’m giving this away with no hope for ever getting it back. I wonder if that makes any sense. Guess not. Love is overrated. And yet we beg to be loved. Its sickening.
Enough said, I’m off to drown myself in a tub of Mars ice-cream.