Its all blank. I don’t know what to think anymore. Everywhere, its a dead end. Every first impression is misleading. Every final judgement is misguided. Every expectation is dashed. Every hope, in vain. Every dream is far-fetched. Every goal, unattainable. Everything, a letdown.
I’m tired of blaming myself. I know I deserve better. Everytime I underestimate myself, and everytime I prove myself wrong. I deserve better. I’m tired of believing that there is some good in people. I’m tired of believing I will be noticed oneday. Really noticed.
I’m tired of you. I know you don’t sympathize. Why do I bother telling you? You’ve got your own problems. I know you think I don’t deserve this. I want to say I understand. But I don’t, so I’ll say I accept it.
I’m tired of believing in karma. It seems to work in just one way. Here’s my retribution, but where’s my reward?
I’m tired of believing that everyone goes through hardship. I don’t deserve to. And I don’t want to relate to everyone. I’m tired of hearing that I need to do my time because everyone else has done so. They haven’t, and so I don’t want to either. I did good, better than most, I know that and I will not be damned for thinking so.
I’m tired of people cutting the queue, I’m tired of stupid people cutting the queue. I’m tired of justifying my qualifications to someone who never went to college.
When is it my turn?