Don’t tell me

Its all blank. I don’t know what to think anymore. Everywhere, its a dead end. Every first impression is misleading. Every final judgement is misguided. Every expectation is dashed. Every hope, in vain. Every dream is far-fetched. Every goal, unattainable. Everything, a letdown.
I’m tired of blaming myself. I know I deserve better. Everytime I underestimate myself, and everytime I prove myself wrong. I deserve better. I’m tired of believing that there is some good in people. I’m tired of believing I will be noticed oneday. Really noticed.
I’m tired of you. I know you don’t sympathize. Why do I bother telling you? You’ve got your own problems. I know you think I don’t deserve this. I want to say I understand. But I don’t, so I’ll say I accept it.
I’m tired of believing in karma. It seems to work in just one way. Here’s my retribution, but where’s my reward?
I’m tired of believing that everyone goes through hardship. I don’t deserve to. And I don’t want to relate to everyone. I’m tired of hearing that I need to do my time because everyone else has done so. They haven’t, and so I don’t want to either. I did good, better than most, I know that and I will not be damned for thinking so.
I’m tired of people cutting the queue, I’m tired of stupid people cutting the queue. I’m tired of justifying my qualifications to someone who never went to college.

When is it my turn?

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15 thoughts on “Don’t tell me

  1. Dont let some stupid jerk who speaks faster than he thinks, judge you, or make you question yourself! You deserve better… and better will come soon.Hang in there. Take care ya!

  2. I agree with your line of thinking. I disagree with people who say you need to wait and ‘do your time’ and slog and work hard. Really?I’m sure there is something out there that you can lay your hands on and spring to the place you ought to be. The patience game is not because you have to do time, its because you need to find that spring board, that calling. Once there you’re on your way home girl. Dont get bogged down with people telling you lies and stuff that sounds oh-so-right. I’ve seen the most successful people are the ones who are unconventional and take the higher road, the one less trodden upon and the one which gets you the most glares.my 2 cents!

  3. you need to have a little faith mate. sometimes things dont look in your favour only cause its a setup for something truly awesome… trust me on that one.listen to bon jovi’s keep the faith in the meantime….

  4. Life’s beautiful. Patience. Ok try this.For once in your life, try and do things because they make you happy… because you feel good doing them without bothering about the outcome.That’s life.Why are you always so bothered about the results?Just walk the walk… enjoy the journey. Don’t do things because you’re hoping to get something out of them. Just do them if you want to…

  5. I don’t have any answers, just temporary cures! You need a holiday, a good night out, some ice cream or just some understanding. Be the bitch! Defy the system! Yadda Yadda Yadda & all that rethorical junk that doesnt make sense!Hang in there babe…

  6. soon…honey …soon….god bless u….and have a beer….screw everything else…do something u’ve wanted to do for a long time…take that vacation..paint….get drunk…whatever…and stop thinking…take care…

  7. Green- I was out drowning my sorrows and joys in Sauvignon blanc.A-Thanks, with friends like these…Conman- Because sometimes you just gotta think about the results, otherwise there’s no point.Its not justifiable to be a loserAJ- All covered. Night out tonight, and holiday in Phuket in December. Wheee!Alice- Thanks dear, and green’s right. Who can resist good ol’ Boo?

  8. babes if u feel there really is nothing left to do and everything is futile, then leave it..dont let the futility of things burden u..u just need to move ahead, in one ear and out the otherhope u feel better than when u wrote this entry..*hug*

  9. Hey Jupiter,I won’t say I understand how you feel because I wouldn’t know how you actually feel. But hang in there and your time will come. These words might annoy you but I’ll living on the same hope too 🙂

  10. When you’re finished with your situation, you’ll realise it was good for you to have done the time. Even if the final result of the situation is not to your liking, you’ll still emerge a better, more mature person from it. I truly believe that.

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