What’s my age again

There are only 24 hours to a day, I tell myself. Procrastination, thy vice is deadly.

Every woman has grooming issues. General Maintenance work, I call it. Manicures, pedicures, waxing, getting hair washed…general servicing to keep the vehicle running smooth. And I need to get ALL of that done in two nights. After work. Otherwise I’ll look like *insert metaphors about neanderthals*

Now I don’t want to get into the whole feminist/bear rebellion. Looking good and being intelligent may be two completely different things but I don’t think they are mutually exclusive, although for some girls, they are. If you want to look like something the cat dragged in, then that’s your prerogative. And fyi, bodily hair is appalling to most members of the human race.
Not wearing make-up is a personal choice, but not shaving your legs, that’s just lack of hygiene. Glorifying poor grooming under the pretext of feminism is not justified.

I, for one, believe in good grooming. And that its ok to tilt your head, flutter your eyelashes and smile coyly if the end result is the big cheese looking at your resume and going “Very impressive”. (As my colleague says “Jups can flirt over the phone!”)

Okay, focus. I know I JUST said I wouldn’t get into the feminist discussion. arghh.

But seriously, I think the feminism battle has moved way past the bra-burning days. (what were they thinking?) I think the battle is mostly the fight for the same things men want, becoming selfish like men, having grand careers, having sex without regret, not having children, not having to pretend to gush over children, making pots of money and doing all this while looking perfectly presentable. What’s wrong with that? Just because we suffer from a legacy of tolerance, grace, infinite love and productive wombs doesn’t mean we need to hold onto it. Give it up, because there is no good reason to stick to it. Men aren’t.

Sometimes chauvinism hits you when you least expect it. In a cab the other day, some assface cab driver was trying to make small talk by being a complete ass. and an intrusive one at that.

“How old are you?”
“Young enough”
“21?”
“Close enough”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
“You don’t need to ask a woman her age”
“There is nothing wrong in asking a woman her age…blah blah…” (great…first he makes an gender-equality argument)

“Where are you from?”
“India”
“Where?”
“Bombay”
“You should be an actress, why don’t you become an actress?” (like where the fuck did that come from?)
“Because I prefer getting by with my brains”

“Are you married?”
“No”
“Why not?”
“I’m too young for it”
“Why don’t you get a boyfriend?” “You need to have a family to be happy, money won’t make you happy”

Why does age dictate marriage? Why do children dictate happiness? Its all movie propaganda. Happily ever after. My ass. Frankly, too much of this dreamism (yes, i invented the word) is being sold to us and we’re hopelessly buying it. NOBODY should be telling you when to get married, whom to get married to, how many kids to have and what positions to fornicate in. Least of all your family or your partner.

Its intrusive. And it doesn’t happen to men as much as it does to women. When my guyfriends tell cab-drivers that they’re 23 and single, the cab drivers suggest the best red-light district lanes. And when I do the same, I get a lecture on how to live my life from some good-for-nothing fool who is fifty years old and drives a taxi for a living.

And that’s the battle women need to win.

That, and a effective method of catching and castrating men who give HIV to their wives.

P.S. I wish I had the courage to give the cab driver a piece of my mind. But I didn’t because he made too much eye contact (especially for someone who needs to keep his eyes on the road) and he kept calling me “My dear” which I didn’t quite fancy. All in all, I don’t think its safe to mess with perverts-on-wheels. Not until I get a black belt in kickcrotch-kwan-do.

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21 thoughts on “What’s my age again

  1. Well yeah sometimes the prettiest of dames can go down the eeeeyuccck! lane if not groomed properly. I am apalled at how many women think of body hair as an asset to show off. Gosh! and the upper lip. My friends tell me I am horrible at hiding my emotions on the sight of an ungroomed woman. Right they are!Majority (more or less) of us tend to find happiness in company. Man being a social animal et al. we basically need other beings to interact with all the time. And why age dictates these milestones is mostly because of peer pressure. At 19-21 you and your pals love haninging about and doing the girly stuff. At 26-27 you still will enjoy it but between career, marriage(for most) and other responsibilities the time is short. So looking at others we tend to find a different circle, a closer one – at home.Bah! rambling again….

  2. oh my god!!Jups, i have been reading ur blog for quite some time now..and this HAS to be the best post ever!!!!!!LOL. Really!! Excellent stuff! =DAnd yes, i agree self grooming is important. Very important. On the marriage issue, digest this- I am 21, still have not finished my graduation, and my granny and mom started crying their eyes out when i rejected the first proposal that came!! I mean HELLOOO, I AM ONLY 21!!!!!! WTF is all this marriage thing about?!?! And seriously, it should be completely upto us who we wanna marry, when we wanna marry and whether we wanna marry at all!!!

  3. Saurabh- I daresay, quite a mouthful! =)Sayesha- Yeah!Medha- Gratzi gratzi..Just ask them to lower their expectations. It worked for me. Now my parents aren’t even bothered about religion.And Kickcrotch-kwan-do (c) involves painfully beautiful stilettos. 😉

  4. Girl, you seem to be kicking ass. But might I suggest you HAD to have given the cabbie a piece of mind? I mean, I have NEVER heard of a cabbie who asks so many questions!! I mean.. what’s with the become an actress thingy? Was he like insane? or drunk? And how DARE he keep asking you how old you were? I’m like bloody furious with this entire exchange!

  5. exactly,some asshole cant ask u this and that just like that. i second cow on this. u musta slapped him accross his retard face.bloddy damn helltake care

  6. I couldn’t agree with you more on many points. I am proud to say, you are a feminist! There are no rules to it, which is what most people don’t know or don’t get when they get visions of leather-wearing, “dykes on bikes” associated with the word. The basics- do not box us in just because we have a vagina (no penis thank God!!), we deserve equal rights, and equal pay and equal ability and freedom to choose.And so, I am a feminist yes, but I like being girly and I like getting waxed, and I like applying some makeup, and I like my hair clean and crisp and curly and I like being color coordinated, and I do no cook, and at the moment I am a stay at home mom who is setting up her own business with her husband and I…. bottomline, these are all my choices and others can choose otherwise and that is fine and dandy. Just do not tell us how to be and how to feel and what status quo BS statistic we need to fill…Which brings me to the taxi driver, a thorn in every woman’s ass. Sorry you had to go through it. There will be many more. What you said was good enough. He could have been a sicko psycho so you were being cautious, which is wise, but I understand, being quite the vocal type it burns to shut it, especially to a man… and a chauvinist at that!

  7. singaporean cabbie talk way too muchonce there was a guy who told my brother and i to join bollywood and then proceeded to tell us ‘jokes’ that totally demeaned indians…and he just wouldnt shut up about it!my dad looked like he wanted to punch the guy in the face!but yea…screw these narrow minded people jups..there are loads of em around..they cant handle the concept of ‘each to his/her own’just laughjust. laugh.

  8. Miss Bohemenia : Well I was just hpoing someone would bring up the point of view you bring up. Of being a feminist and being equal and all that.I couldnt agree more. Sure both sexes should be treated as equals and with a fair hand. But then somewhere I strobgly beleive that women over the centuries have got their DNA altered so much that they cant handle it.(I am talking on a general scale). Being equal brings responsibilities and a sense of ownership for everything one does. I have seen feminists talk of equality and then on the other hand pray for a seperate queue for women at counters, reservation for women in Assemblies of the nation and whats more theyeven have reservation quota for them in Engineering colleges in this state. Why? You gals are way better than us in academics. Why reservation in seats? Where’s the lecture on equality now?I agree you attack is the best form of defense but things do get a lot skewed this way. I, for one, am totally confused about Feminism and what it stands for now.

  9. Saurabh- SOME women may ask for favors… doesn’t make them feminists. Real feminists do not want any favors, no hand-me-downs thank you very much. That would imply that we are second-hand citizens, lesser beings and that men, the supposed higher beings need to give us a push. How demeaning is that!!!! No, real feminism simply means equality as far as treatment and rights withing society and freedom of choice. It is not that confusing my friend!As for differences between the sexes, sure they exist, but they should not be used as an excuse to deny us our birthright. Once again, not confusing…

  10. I don’t think we should be going into labels much – I’m sure the favours-asking feminists and the bra-burning feminists and the lets-all-turn-lesbian feminists all think of themselves as “true” feminists, and we can’t blame guys for being confused. Heck, I’m confused myself. There are different types of women, just as there are different types of men. There are men who will pay lip service to equality of the sexes, but expect women to be house-bound, and there are women who’ll do the same and expect reservations and whatnot. There are men who’re scum, and there are women who’re scum (well at least they’re pretty). You get what I mean. I think Jups has it right. The ‘right’ kind of woman to be is someone who insists on equal choice and equal respect. It’s the condescension (sp?) that really gets to me, and I fight it every single time. Uncles and fathers and grandfathers think they can treat you as if you were a woman of their own generation, and it’s fun to watch their faces when you turn their reasoning back on them and start treating them like they were men of yours. I’ve done it twice. It was awesome.

  11. My My Jups you do attract controversy (I’m envious here)…But yeah, I like to add, besides personal grooming & intelligence, every woman (& man) should learn how to carry themselves well. Walking about with even a clomp! clomp! clomp! sound is such a turn off!

  12. Cowlick-Rellaxxx, well nothing you can do about cabbies here, they talk too much.Burf- Aww, thanks.Saurabh, Miss B, carry on the debate, I’d like to silently observe, =)Mahi- Yeah pissoffs they are. Can’t believe they’d mock Indians for no good reason.Wendelin- I really like your point of view!

  13. Miss B: Explained well. It does clear a lot confusion but still there exist women who claim to be ‘feminists’ without really knowing the definition. And most of these seem to be just as confused as I was. Maybe there should be a universal Feminist club :-)Then again there is always that rotten apple in the basket which spoils everyone else too. There is always a small minority group which semingly destroys the overall image of the clan.

  14. I guess I missed the boat but would still like leave a comment. :D//NOBODY should be telling you when to get married, whom to get married to, how many kids to have and what positions to fornicate in.Absolutely right. I hate it when people other than your parents dictate terms.

  15. Saurabh… you got it! I am flattered. And yes, that is the bottomline, a lot of people just simply do not know what it means.I am a vegetarian and by definition a vegetarian eats no animal flesh whatsoever and that includes fish…. well, these 13 years that I have been a vegetarian I have met many a nut who claimed to be one as they chomped down on either a chicken sandwich or the like… just cause they say they are doesn’t mean they are… you know?It has been fun…

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