God is a DJ

The incomplete list of reasons why Christmas and New year’s are over-rated.

(And don’t even think about labelling me anti-Catholic. I was raised tolerant to religion, and not to mindless propaganda. And certainly not to giant plastic snowmen and cotton snowflakes.)

1. Noone is really celebrating Christmas for Christmas’s sake anymore.

2. Compulsary exhorbitant Christmas Dinners at hotels- What the hell is this all about?

3. The sales are NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Summer clothing sales in London, woolen coats for sale in the tropics…

4. 95% of the office is on holiday, leaving the remaining 5% with 100% of the work.

5. New year countdown shows on TV…what’s the point here? Wouldn’t it be easier to just disembowel yourself?

6. Another Christmas compilation CD? I choose death.

7. Christmas-themed movies are an insult to the collective intelligence of the human race. Boycott them.

8. Some lame excuse for a human being got away with remixing Silent night, Holy night.

9. Coca-Cola sold us a red-and-white Santa Claus. And we bought it.

10. But does everything have to be red and green? I think I’ll have a siezure now.

11. There is too much pressure to have a good time.

12. Travelling is ten times more expensive, and still all the retards insist on travelling anyway.

13. Too much marketing has ruined it. Its that sick feeling, like drinking a mug of caramel syrup.
14. This one’s personal- All the damn desserts have raisins and fruits and miscellaneous shit like that. In general, Christmas desserts suck.

15. Mistletoe and New year’s eve- Concepts that make single people feel like shit, and induce unnecessary pressure to find a damn date.

16. White Christmas- Just a grand shenanigan used to justify horrendous, unbearable winters and promote tourism in countries with horrendous, unbearable winters.

17. Here’s the universal truth- ALL NEW YEAR PARTIES SUCK.No matter where they are held, who hosts them, how much booze they have, they all suck.(If you don’t agree, you have low party standards)

18. Christmas decorations have grown bigger and bigger, and thereby garish and stubbornly ugly. Jesus is not amused by your ugly tree.

19. I don’t feel any different after counting down than I do before. 10-9-8-7-6-m-y-a-s-s

20. Seriously, do they know its Christmas time at all?

I know I’m right. Now, kiss my feet.


15 thoughts on “God is a DJ

  1. That was quite a list up there!And i SO SO SO agree with No.14!!!!All those raisins and fruits really make me choke up everytime i even look at those ‘Christmas cakes’! Yikesss!But christmas dinners are fun, as long as they are held in places like The Hyatt,where the array of food is simply AWESOME!!!! I’m going for one tonight! ;)Ah, all thanks to my boss! 🙂

  2. Casa- Zank you! And yet, I have four words”Jingle All The Way”Medha- Nah, Im talking about the fact that if you’re putting up in hotel A, you HAVE to eat xmas dinner at hotel A. You know that rule, right?

  3. Tch! Tch! Tch! Someone is having a tough time emboldening the christmas spirit.I love the decorations, the red & green themes, the lights and how big the holly rings get every year. The little kids screaming across shopping malls entangling themselves in our knees (speaking for tall-ies like moi). I hear carols every evening in the church nearby and love the way the church is gearing up for the BIG day.Come on woman, look at the flip side. Let the pseudos be!Jingle all the way! Indeed!

  4. Saurabh- Tsk Tsk.If only someone would explain to me howBirth of Christ=Big ugly trees=Wasteful shopping=CocaCola’s big fat man=Horrendous Schwarzenegger movies=Mindless remixes. (Yes that’s what I meant by Jingle All The Way)then, maybe I wouldn’t question the Christmas spirit so much!Not everything that is “sold” in the name of Christmas qualifies for being called Christmas spirit. I am not buying it.I don’t question Xmas carols, I question their remixes. I don’t question love and giving, I question mistletoe. I don’t question St.Nicholas, I question “Santa’s Slay”.Sometimes bigger isn’t the same as better.

  5. Hmm… ok maybe it is quite different there. I, for one, dont mind the anomalies that accompany the spirit. There are always people who will twist things a bit to the way they’d like to see it and having jus tone way to look at things is just so boring. Sure there will be remixes but remember the originals exist too. Maybe the number of carol singers will dwindle in number every year but the small group and the spirit of going on no matter what the ‘current market trend’ says is what makes them so exclusive and nice. Fret, fuss, hem and haw… in the end make sure you’re smiling :-)Cos ’tis’ the time to be jolly… ….la la, la la la, la la la …’

  6. 4 – are u one of 5%? wrong choice6 – o ghost, when did u die last :p 25-12-04?13 what is caramel syrup?17 what according to u makes a party seriously high-end [serious query]?20 was that philosophical?truly,frog:D

  7. Khizzy, Yeah..but Im too shy =)Burf- To answer–4- yes i am.6- LOL13- The sweet stuff topped on a starbucks caramel machiato, for instance17-Its just that New Years parties don’t kick as much ass regular parties.20- Yes it was! A reference to the song “do they know its christmas?” by Band Aid 20. A song about how so many people die of hunger and disease- does Christmas mean anything to them?

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