Today I needed to be in office only at 1pm, I work the graveyard shift once a week. I know… I feel like fuckin guard dog.
It took me three hours to get out of bed. I had no reason to oversleep, but I did.
The past few days have been a dangerous overdose of Sex and the City. Not only do I feel like a fabulous independent woman, but I also feel like a 35 year old who dreads marriage and at the same time fears that she will never be one of the lucky ones to actually get married. Oh and yes, I am having a horribly strong desire for a Dior saddle bag. (because I didn’t get those lovely shoes in my size the other day..bah!)
Marriage,schmarriage..this ain’t about that.
I’m tired of being independent. I wanna burden someone for a change. Oh come on, don’t give me that look!
I’m tired of working and earning my money, paying my rent, shopping on my money, doing my laundry, cleaning my house myself, ironing my clothes, hemming my own pants and blah blah blah.
Yes I know it feels great to be independent. It is awesome to live alone. Most of my friends in India have never lived a week on their own. Most of them are working and haven’t moved out of their parents’. Not that that is wrong in any way.
The fact that you are answerable to noone, that you are paying for your own degree, that you can buy anything you want no matter how unreasonably its priced, that you can come home at whatever ungodly hour you please, ..all that is just great.
Maybe I’m just a confused cookie, but I sometimes get tired of looking after myself…
Nothing fancy, it would be nice if I was woken up by a human being– everytime I am late for work because I overslept, I cannot help thinking that it wouldn’t have happened if I lived with someone–
, or if I didn’t have to pour my own staple glass of juice every evening
, or if someone else massaged my hair before a shampooing
, or once in a while someone else hung my washed laundry out to dry.
I’m not sure where this is going. I don’t know if this means that I need a man, a maid or a trip to India or a trip to the spa. But every which way, I need some pampering. ( I know I compared a lot of diverse things in the same breath and I am so totally going to the deepest depths of hell for that.)
I’m tired of being all grown up.