Part-time lover

The internet is a wonderful place, especially for all friendster-type networks. Honestly I had no interest in these types in the beginning but Iceicebaby, my sweet ol friend from junior college, insisted that I join one. And it turned out to be a great idea. For one I found more than half of my college class online and that they’re all studying in the U.S of A to become great scientists and astronauts. And one by one, they’ve also been finding me.
There is even going to be a highschool reunion next month in New York. So there. (Of course I can’t go)

Of course there were a good many people I hated in my junior college. And I was hated back. Turns out that the six of us girls were all labelled the bitches of the class. I found this out two years ago and was mighty proud of myself. I didn’t know I had that much sass at 16. (Ok I wanna go on this whole bender and start explaining why I had no guyfriends in JC..ok I will.. they were all geeks..and by that I mean you have no idea just how geeky they were…) The whole point of this point is that I joined the network to show myself off. In that ha-you-should-have-been-nice-to-me-because-I’m-better-than-you way. Oh and you don’t think that about yourself?

Anyway, I’m totally enjoying the whole thing, started keeping in touch with bozoes from the past. Laughing at all their lies… Like this girl (she’s nice and all but) who’s frikkin huge and I mean 5 feet 5 inches tall and shoulders like Shaq okay…whose profile says “Build–Slim” or dumasses who answer “Things you find in your bedroom” with “None of your business” and “My bed” d.u.h.

But this guy really takes the cake. I don’t know he is. Let’s call him da-gigolo because believe it or not, his name sounds remarkably like that. And he has a group photo (with fifteen people) as his display pic and its a thumbnail. ‘Nuff said.

Email #1-

not bad a profile, wud like to communicate
regards

Analysis: Notice the coolness…”not a bad profile”..I better not start screaming in ecstacy. “Would like to communicate”.. intravenuously? *splits her fingers like E.T* I come in peace.

Email #2-

hi, how r u ??? what r u doing in Singapore. Ur smile exactly looks like a X generation Monalisa.
Hope for ur kind co-operation . I am also working as Sr Telecom Consultant for a singapore based organisation and have plans to visit Singapore very soon.
i hope we ‘ll meet there.
regards

Okay….I swear..before I walked into office I knew I’d be having a bad day. Slowmo had already fucked up a billion things for me to clean up. After reading this email I am guffawing like that Muttley character every ten seconds.

Let’s analyse:

how r u with three question marks and none for “what r u doing in Singapore”… no issue.. bad grammar that’s all…
my profile already says what I do..so the question is kinda redundant.

“Ur smile exactly looks like a X generation Monalisa”. What in hell’s name does that mean? Did MonaLisa smile? Would a GenX MonaLisa smile? Is this guy artsy fartsy or clueless? Will Da Vinci sue for misuse of his art?

“Hope for ur kind co-operation”. TO WHAT? a date? a kidney donation? full-body frisking? WHAT??

Some girls pine for a guy who makes them laugh. Gals, what say you? You can take him..this one’s a keeper..and a Senior Telecom Consultant. He’s a hunka hunka burnin’ love, people!
He will bring home the proverbial bacon and make you snort like a pig in heat. I have his phone number and I’ll trade you a latte for it.

Oh God, I’m still laughing..

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14 thoughts on “Part-time lover

  1. Exactly the same reason as Casa puts it. I just couldnt take after a few of these. Then I thought… hey am I being looked upon the same way on the other end too?And then the Orkut thingy went into the bin.But hey these guys are hillarious.Keep the adventures alive I say!!How be the studies going?

  2. Casa- Oh you know they will ;)saurabh- Oi..studies are progressing but I am becoming increasingly dopey with my math… And Matunga adventure was not supposed to bomb.What about my essay book price? I order a relaunch.

  3. Gen X Mona Lisa? Lol… The guy must have watched one too many episodes of Mutant X, X Men or something like that…. And I’m not on any silly friendship network, tho I might if there are enough cute guys…

  4. Shash, I’m sure if you go on to Orkut and publish her blog address, there will be much excitement.*devilish giggle*Sorry Jups, couldnt resist that. Infact that seems to *almost* tempt me to actually join Orkut πŸ™‚

  5. Shash- OH HELL TO THE NO!!!!! Well one guy actually found my blog.. but that won’t cause mass mayhem I’m sure..AJ- There aren’t enough and I don’t you turning the few good men the other way. Hai Yah!*brandishes nunchucks*Casa-Oh come now…why why why..imagine the heartbreak..

  6. y u ladees haf to b so choosy???can u not co-operate with usan wats rong with telecom consultant? you can consult, when you haf, er, disturbance in internationl calls. For free. But now you lost out, for not co-operating.

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