If I was a rich girl

Okay… so I got this completely idiotic email that insulted my intelligence to epic proportions. It came from a *draws quotes in the air* popular Indian website.

Many things that turn me off, most of which were covered well in this email. See commentary in bold.

Hi ,

I am Somebody at PopularIndianWebsite.com (http://www.popularindianwebsite.com/) and I’m writing to you about your blog (http://jupiterjuice.blogspot.com/ ). Its a template. If it’s not personalised, its not good enough. If it applies to fashion, it applies to everything.
Before I proceed, let me apologize for this unsolicited email. Unnecessary. If you felt that bad, you shouldn’t have sent it.
We are in the process of contacting Indian Bloggers to compile the complete list of Indian Bloggers. What a noble cause. Really. Somebody please explain to me what real good comes of this. And I can’t remember shouting from rooftops about my nationality.

Ok, now to why am I writing to you? I’m also compiling a list of the best writings in Indian blogosphere and showcasing them on PopularIndianWebsite.com. PopularIndianWebsite has been encouraging good writers and showcasing great writing for well over 6 years. “Best writings”? Me?-I’m sorry but even a twisted ego-maniac like me won’t buy that.

I want to include your blog entries on PopularIndianWebsite by creating a parallel blog for you.By creating a parallel blog on PopularIndianWebsite Blogs, you can dramatically boost the number of people viewing your posts and commenting on them.All you need to do is reply to this mail saying’yes’. That’s it? Yes, that’s all you need to do. Why parallel? Why not link to my blog? Ahh.. you, dear reader, shall soon know.

We’ll take care of the rest. In other words,you can continue posting on your own blog at http://jupiterjuice.blogspot.com/ and your writings will automatically appear on PopularIndianWebsite.com which will be read by additional people. We give you more coverage. This is bloody patronising. Firstly, who cares if ten more people read my blog? I’d rather ten intelligent people read my blog than twenty dumasses. Secondly, refer to end of transcript.
You have everything to gain. Just reply to this mail and say ‘YES’ in the subject line. Oh, wow.. just say yes? that’s it? I’d thought there’d be a triathlon to qualify.

To give half-a benefit of doubt to these people, I checked the website out. And lo and behold.
Completely tasteless. Full of ads. And lousy blog posts.

So that’s what its all about. Using the writings of bloggers who don’t usually make any money out of their writings and making money out of them? Nowhere in the email was any royalty mentioned. Now correct me if I’m wrong but if I am indeed the one of the best Indian bloggers, surely I deserve some shoe-money? Here’s an idea, stop being a cheapskate and PAY SOMEONE TO WRITE CONTENT! THEY’RE CALLED JOURNOS, COLUMNISTS, WRITERS!

I don’t wanna be classified as an Indian blogger. The blog has little to do with India. Why should it? Its about one thing and one thing only.

ME!
And I daresay that even INDIA is a part of my existence. Not the whole.

And I don’t need extensive coverage. I am not trying to increase any awareness for anything. Not yet. Not through this. Not nearly enough. Yes I would really like to stop the pummeling of baby white seals. With all my heart. But it’d hard enough to be taken seriously when you have a shoe fetish, let alone convince people to give up shark fin soup.

And hypothetically, if I could help raise money for something using my writing, wouldn’t I be using that money for a better cause? Maybe sponsoring a stationery set for a kid in the Dominican Republic? Why should I be helping some “entrepreneur” make his ends meet? Forget the poor kid, wouldn’t I be making the money for myself? Where does this third factor come in and who does he think he is?

Anyway, I thought that I’ll assume the lack of clarification to be a compliment and proclaim that I am indeed the best blogger in the whole goddamn galaxy. And that bitch in Andromeda isn’t good looking, so there.

So do your part for charity and click on the ads ON THIS WEBPAGE. At least you’ll sleep soundly knowing that talented and attractive young writer gets paid for her hard work.

P.S. Some people are just bollocks really.

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6 thoughts on “If I was a rich girl

  1. does google adsense really work? i gave up checking a long time ago..seeing yourself earn US$0.03 per day was a real downer.sheesh. these people must think we’re as dumb as they look.

  2. there are a lot of people out to make money in what the economist calls the “participatory media domain”.. ,.03 cents today could be a million dollars tomorrow.. why not give it a shot ? after all..you aint nothing, if you got nothing to lose…

  3. Bah, I try to avoid ever clicking on an Add. I prefer just to find it in my own way, rather than having the adds shoved at me. And yes, it would be sending you such a small amount of money for the effort, but its me trying to discourage them.Should you ever pop ’round to northern sydney i’ll give you your .03 cents if its your desire.

  4. Casa- I am broke as it is.. if someone sues me, I’ll have to sell my eyelashes or something!Kaps- Assinine, arent they?Mahi- I’ve made 20$ so far..make sure you accrue your earnings.Tragicomix- Yes it works, which is why its on my page. But why should I lend my “work” to someone else’s domain and someone else’s ads?Kris- Yeah buddy, I’m gonna charge you for every time you visited “Juice”.. either that or a nice Australian fusion dinner.. your call =)

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