Talk dirty to me

Lucky you were born that far away so we could both make fun of distance
Lucky that I love a foreign land for the lucky fact of your existence.. *wink*

The most boring day in a long time just went by… then all of a sudden I make a call to London and get a barrage of compliments on the phone. I could not be more kicked right now!

So remember the guy with the dreamy sultry voice? Let’s call him Tarkan for clarity’s sake. Now Tarkan’s Brit and Tarkan’s colleague, umm, let’s call him Akon is American. I hardly speak to these guys- probably once a week tops. But they’re awefully nice to me. Too nice.

So here goes– this is clearly a very vain homage (read o-maaj in a pretentious French accent) to myself but then again, so is this whole blog.

Me: Hi Akon, good morning!
Akon: Oh hi Jups, How are you?
Me: I’m good thanks, how are you? I’m just calling about….blah blah blah..
Akon: Don’t worry about those, I’ll handle them.. you can go home when it’s still sunny.
Me: Sunny.. dusk is more like it, *sheepish giggle*
Akon: Oh Tarkan says ‘hi’
Me: *waving one hand like a total nerd without realising they can’t see me* I say hi to him too..teehee…
Akon: Actually, we were just talking about you
Me: (Huh? What now? okay jups, be ice-cool..) Oooh! Well..ahem..Good things or bad things?
Akon: We were discussing how cool you were, and what a cool voice you have! You have a reallly cool phone voice! It just sounds so good!
Me:(bowled over) Oh! Thank you! I’m gonna call you more often…hahaha
Akon: You can call me anytime you want gurl!

*whoop whoop whoop.. switching to alter ego Glamourpuss*

I swear, he said “gurlll”... American or not, he said “gurll”… and this after the first time, the sultry Tarkan claimed that he “always had time for me”…
You still think I’m reading too much into this?
I can just imagine those two juvenile, but handsome, sultry boys getting all excited about which one of them gets picked to talk to me and then passing on the other’s “hi” greetings by proxy.

Do you have any idea how much I had to resist the temptation to say “Oh hon, I’m more than just a voice” or even better “If you wanna keep talking, I’ll have to charge this call a dollar a minute”?
Plus this puts some things in perspective. This one time, Akon had called me and talked for a good fifteen minutes on a really miniscule issue. He was trying to explain how things worked at his side, and he went on and on.. even when I said,”oh now it all makes sense” he didn’t really stop.

The conversation moved onto rain in London, weather in Singapore and ended with me offering to buy drinks when he lands up here. Don’t ask why or how. I was too kicked from the sudden unexpected compliment to care.

Reminds me of my first voice chat ever with an internet buddy, my crazy Spanish friend, and how he kept going “Your voice– you are Paulina”
“Huh Paulina who?”
“Paulina Rubio…you look like Paulina Rubio, your voice is like Paulina Rubio… guapasima”
Okay, I don’t think I look like Paulina Rubio at all, she is a fairly hot and promiscuous Latina singer with a great voice (I’d like to think I do). Also, I have no singing talent whatsoever.

As Shakira says, Ay duele tanto.. me duele una tortura..

P.S. The trick is to smile when you’re talking- it’s contagious and sexy, even through a phone.
P.P.S. If you think I look like Paulina Rubio, feel free to tell me so *wink*


11 thoughts on “Talk dirty to me

  1. heh, I know a smile’s contagious, but perhaps raging hormones as well? It also seems both these lovely lads are after your affections, even if it is over a phone. Enjoy the play time, I’m sure it’s relaxing and enjoyable. Flirting always is.And what does that shakira quote translate to? I’m to lazy to babblefish and too stupid to learn.

  2. Hmm, Well if they’re going to fight over you, they better do it properly. Y’know, spears, ancient roman arena, bad music playing while some 40 year old man in a bedsheet eats grapes held by beautiful young virgins. I know it’s elaborate, but it’s TRADITION DAMNIT!. That, and i’m sure you’d say that you’re worth all that effort :pAnd thanks for the translation. I’m sure I don’t quite get the significance. But that may be because I woke up 10 minutes ago

  3. Jhantu- They’re not in the same continent.Kris- I overslept today too! Spooky.. and I can totally picture the gladiators!The song is just very sexy.. she has sung it like that ..

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