help is around the corner

The frustrations are increasingly mounting. There is noone to talk to, noone who cares and noone who understands and most importantly, noone to propose solutions. “Will she ever stop complaining?” You wonder…She will, if things go her way once in a while!

This, like many others, is a catharsis long overdue. I want to yell, scream and shout. I want to cry. I want to laugh out loud as well. I can’t remember the last time I did that in the absence of televised funnyman.

I don’t like asking for favours. I don’t ask for favours. I figure that people you ask for help have a way of making you beg, making you explain and making you convince them that their help is absolutely neccessary. I hate these people. I really do. I can say this because I have two answers to anyone who asks me for a favour – “Of course I can, no problem!” and “No, I can’t”
I don’t put my friends through the whole “Uhh, let’s see..but why do you..uhh okay…ill get to it… maybe”. If you do this to your friends, you should be ashamed of yourself.

My phone hasn’t rung since Sunday, save calls from my parents. And it’s not like I can tell them everything that’s bothering me.

I could not be lesser prepared for the exam. I am appalled at myself. I am slacking and I feel helpless. This exam has the power and the potential to make or break my future, and somehow aside from typing this out, the brevity hasn’t hit me yet.

I took a huge risk by booking that non-refundable ticket to Amsterdam. A HUGE RISK. How? Because I relied on my uncle to get the documents in place for my visa. They need a thousand different documents to issue a visa, several of which need to be prepared by my uncle. But he’s too busy and his potheaded secretary did this.

Dear madam, this is to confirm that …is coming to Amsterdam for business meetings…..yadda…

She also made me a Mrs, got my bday, passport dates and several details wrong. And what’s worse? She emailed it directly to the embassy, without my having seen it.

Wonderful.. just fucking wonderful.. or should I say wunderbar…

It’s not funny- if this visa doesn’t go through, I stand to lose everything. And this was a favor I needed from my uncle. If he’s so busy, he should have told me to fuck off. He should have said… “some other time”. I would understand… in fact I asked him several times if it was okay with him.

I don’t have the time, money nor the energy to chase people across time zones for documents that they willingly agreed to provide. I have a job that kills my spirit on a daily basis. I don’t need someone else to piss on my spirit and on my happiness. I’ve written enough people off for a lifetime ALREADY.

And I hate waiting- whether it is for ballless men who can’t hold a conversation on IM or banks that take ages to issue statements. I hate waiting. When will I get a break? I had had it with planning vacations with people.. so I did this. And even this doesn’t work out? Should I shoot myself now? I am calling my uncle up today for the last time, and telling him that if he can’t do this, I’ll fucking book a hotel and do this by myself. I have an ego and a credit limit to match.

I am fuming mad. Fuming. I cannot remember the last time I had dinner with another human being across the table. That is how much my life is sucking at the moment. And I don’t feel sad. I’m just angry. Because that’s how the cookie crumbles for some of us.

And there’s more to add to the confusion. My mom decided to join me for the trip. And I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. See, it’s not as if I am going to Europe to have a 15 day romp-fest. I intended to stay sober throughout the trip too. So her decision won’t technically affect me. I don’t know..I’m confused… She deserves a break, just like I do. She sent me links to guided tours but I’m not keen on taking what I call the “daal-chaaval-jain-food” tours.
I don’t give a hoot about these tours being cheaper. I don’t trust a travel agency that can offer tours to both Kasauni and Paris. I have always hated Indian travel agencies and the Indianised puri-bhaji-in-paris travel experiences they hawk.

I have a dental appointment this friday, for a treatment that costs a measly 4000 odd dollars. It’s gonna be painful, long and traumatic. It will take 4 months to complete and outcome isn’t guaranteed. It is not covered by insurance. And you thought you got a sore deal?

One final note, since I’m being such an enfant terrible

I noticed some bloggers copying entire sentences off this space. You know who you are. Shame on you and your severe lack of creativity and command over the English language. I take pity on your need to attract readership and your inability in doing so that makes you lift stuff off me.

Bollocks to you, you talentless hacks.

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7 thoughts on “help is around the corner

  1. I can’t remember the last time I did that in the absence of televised funnyman.So true.She emailed it directly to the embassy, without my having seen it.So have you told her she’s a dumb-witted twat?My mom decided to join me for the trip.Can’t think of a single way this trip will be what you dreamt of. All my condolences to you.- cowlick

  2. lol ive noticed certain bloggers copying my sentences too..2 of em infact..ive read their stuff and i think ‘hmm well doesnt that look familiar’ i reckon u may know them tootalentless saddos.

  3. Have I missed some thing.Last time I came around you were so upbeat about so much in life.Yeah things go wrong but there is a never die attitude that I have always come across.Now I come back and you seem so down in the dumps, that too for some time.I really do hope things get sorted out for you, and soon.

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