Can’t stop this thing we started

I took Tuesday off. I went to the dentist in the morning and by God, he did a swell job, I’m so happy with my new smile.. the fakeness is almost imperceptible. Aside from the tiny technicality that everyone on planet Earth and beyond already knows about my dental misadventures.

I took the Tuesday off to scoop out every last brain cell and make it vomit all over my b-school essays. I’ve had verbal diarrhoea and the real thing.

I called up home and things are starting to freak me out a little. Les Parents are going to meet each other next month. It will be a debacle of coconut plantation proportions. I have warned them already, but apparently “I don’t know anything about marriage”, which is true; I know nothing about the bureacratic negotiations with discrete exchange of valuable information that culminates in a massive explosion of flowers, silk sarees, gold jewellery and two people (optional). Nobody listens to me.

The essays have bugged the living fuck outta me. I get this sinking feeling that some French guy is going to read them, laugh dismissively, say “Eet ees so yoos-lace, alors!” and swiftly projectile my file into the nearest bin. It’d be damn shame too, because I am too pretty to have my file binned. Whatever.

So I’m taking tomorrow off as well to sit on my ass (which is getting larger and larger) and work on expressing my grand career plans in ways that don’t make me look like an awestruck yokel.

I am not lying, so I’m having trouble being myself. See, I wanna tell them that I wanna work in the fashion industry as a Prada-bag-weilding ballbuster, because let’s face it, that’s what I’ll be damn good at. And the motivation to work in the fashion industry does not come out of good will. You can’t say “I wanna be in fashion because I wanna help people”. Yeah right, not unless you’re talking about “helping” people look gorgeous, which you don’t do for free anyway (except when you’re fashion-consulting for your friends or writing philantrophic blog posts for the benefit of humanity).

Cuteness is somewhat of a curse for me. A very intelligent man confirmed this recently. I’m not complaining, mind you. My first impression to most people is that I am bubbly blundering bimbo. I am only two of those words. I giggle a lot, I say “awways” and “awwright” instead of “always and “alright” and I just cannot change it, no matter how hard I try.

I’ve been a grades person. I did well in school and university. The oddity here is that from what I’ve heard, your b-school essays are all about making concessions for a shoddy academic performance and proving to the committee that your awesomely cool work experience makes up for the time you wasted in university throwing up from booze OD. I am one of those things, and not the good one.

My point essays sound like “Pick me! Pick me! I awways get good grades! I suck at my job, but please admit me as your token child prodigy/adult bimbo.”

Yep, that’s “exceptional maturity” right there, people.

Tant pis! I’m screwed. Whaat thoo doo? Dhees ees note goood, alors!

Papa kehte hain bada naam karega
beta humaara aisa kaam karega
magar yeh to koi na jaane
ki meri manzil hai kahaaan…


I’m not complaining…I’m totally psyched about these essays and I’m gonna kick ass EVEN IF they don’t admit me!


13 thoughts on “Can’t stop this thing we started

  1. ROTFL! I actually skipped the little sentence in “Frence” the first time around (thinking, what’s the point in reading a sentence in French, I don’t understand French).. till I came by again and read it!!

  2. Oh screw that. I wrote an essay of a response and your blog just ate it. *grumbles*Anyways how about the gist of it?, yes, good essays are good, I insulted my Visual Arts teacher, Proud of you doing nothing, Completely unsprised to hear you say something along the lines of “OH woe is me i’m too cute”, by the time i’m thirty i’ll be hairy, have a hunch and work in a bell tower, and finally I forget…..

  3. lollololololol:)i know EXACTLY wat u mean – i went thru de same shit – writing n rewriting the essays for my applications (though not to b-school) – and then thinking defiantly to myself: they’ll be LUCKY to have me! 🙂 fingers crossed.

  4. I am sure you will awways kick ass… oh freak! why am I talking like that… I am none of it (bubbly blundering bimbo).Best luck is all I can say! And stop scaring the shit out of me on topic of essays… I got to do that in a year or two, and this is not helping! Instead write “good philanthropic humanitarian” posts on how to write b-school essays.

  5. aiyoh..a post with marriage and essays in it*cringe*this is like SOOO rad (do they say ‘rad’ anymore?) you are like SOOOO gonna ROCK, like ohmigawdddlike, g’luck with the essays!

  6. cowlick- hehe, What to do? We are like this clearly, you’re right..Strider- You’re too kind.. *blushPunkster- hehehe.. 😉 thanku!kris- hahahah that is quite a mouthful..why will you be hairy when ur 30?!livinghigh- yeah i try pulling off that defiant shit and i think..oh who am I kidding? I’d sell my soul and skin puppies to get in!urbanpro- Teehee. thanks.. I will write those posts after I get in okay? =) I don’t want you sueing me for bad advice.. AJ- Thank you dahl, and omg.. less than a week to go wheeeeeeeeMahi- hahahhahaa ohmigawd you’re like totally crazy like..rad? what next? groovy? I wanna bring groovy back.. you in?

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