Somebody to love

They keep telling you to find somebody. It’s hard to see clearly when all your friends have their arms wrapped around another human being.

They keep telling you to find somebody, like they were sitting in a pound (the kind that gives away soulmates), just waiting to be found. It’s not that you don’t know where to look or when, you probably just don’t believe in looking. Maybe because the only time you actually found something worth its salt was when you weren’t looking. It snuck up from behind and it changed your life. And you’re the sort of person who wears her glasses on her head and asks if anyone’s seen them- so you’re grateful.

Maybe it’s because the ones you’d like to find aren’t hanging boards around their necks with your name on them. Maybe they also believe in being found instead, which would make the situation not only ironic, but tragic too. But that’s how love goes- sometimes ego gets in the way.
Sometimes they order you to find someone, because they care and they empathize and they only want what’s best for you. But if we could find the things we’re searching just because someone ordered to us to look harder, we’d all be searching no more.

They say you ought to find someone because the time is right. Maybe it was never meant to be a race or a project with deadlines. Actually, there is no time more right than the time you find this someone, or when someone finds you or somehow something magical happens, is there? Why don’t tell you that?

Then they remind you that there is no point to be being alone, that finding somebody is not a choice, but a necessity. But there is a difference between necessities and luxuries. Love is a privelege, not a necessity, companionship probably is and even that is debatable. And they’re hinting at a loss of selfworth by telling you to rely on another person as a crutch. That doesn’t sound right and it probably isn’t anyway.

They tell you not to be a bitter cynic and give people the benefit of the doubt. They tell you not to be overly critical. What they don’t know is that it is not just credible that you have the right to higher standards, but that it is completely neccessary. You see, reality is mediocre enough as it is, without having to tone down expectations to suit reality.

Else we’d all wake up in fulfilled dreams; what’s the point of waking up to that?


9 thoughts on “Somebody to love

  1. I was a hopeless romantic that I would find my Raj running towards me through the mustard fields and we’d sing and dance and be madly in love. Alas, life is not a Bollywood movie, and I let things be. I was aware, but not actively looking. When I found love, it was unexpected but it felt so right that I knew I would not need to ever look again. I was young though, so I didn’t have the pressure of people trying to set me up (more like keep me away from BOYS…*shock*) so while it’s completely different situation – I DO know how you feel. Because I see it with my Indian single friends too. My friend’s sister is about 30 and still single and has never been more happy. Her parents are like mine (a bit more relaxed though but still traditional) and let her live her life. People talk and she just smiles at them and tells them about her latest project or adventure and slowly they start to envy her life rather than pity her. So…Go with the flow. Don’t look – let love come to you. Be aware of possibilities but don’t force yourself to feel something. πŸ˜€

  2. This post resonates with me so much! I do not believe in “making attempts” to find someone either. If it is meant to be, it will happen. In the meantime, I am happy with my mediocre companionship. πŸ˜€

  3. FFF- Good! And yeah. Let’s go for Borat. ;)Silvara- Life’s not a movie, but we can dream. πŸ™‚ After all you must have had some lovely memories from your courtship days! And now you’re getting married, just like in the movies! (Okay im becoming cheesy)And I’m sure that friend’s sister isnt even faking it. It’s actually very possible to be single and happy. πŸ™‚ Princess- Aloha ;)Casa-What becomes of tomorrow,Nothing’s set in stone,We’ll walk into the sunsetThough some of us may walk alone.(yours is better)Urbanpro- Good for you ..hehe mediocre companionship.. I wonder how said person would feel about said statement πŸ˜‰

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