Another night

Partayyyy Centraal!!!!!!!

Oh my God I have no idea how the weekend just whizzed past me like that. I have to say I am feeling mighty cheerful today. Actually, screw that. I am feeling might mighty today!

You know you’ve had a good weekend if you can’t remember what you did on Friday night. I can’t for the life of me …oh wait I remember now! Whew. I had dinner with friends!

Saturday was sooo funnnn. Zip had a major potluck at her place and we had a buttload of dishes. I made stuffed capsicums- they were so beautiful if I may say so myself. Gloriously basted with butter and baked to perfection. Ooh la la.*Muax* The good thing about potlucks is that guys generally bring loads of alcohol and in this case, icecream. I ate so much ice cream. SO MUCH. Mango sorbet and clotted cream and Mars (MARS RULES!) and chocolate and I don’t know what else. And then we played dumb charades for like the whole day. It was awesome and vulgar and too much fun.

I spent the evening watching The Painted Veil which stars none other than the tower of hotness that is Edward Norton. I absolutely loved the movie! Edward Norton rules.

Of course, we’re still on Saturday and the night was, in fact, young. I had plans with Princess and some of her buddies. Said buddies turned out to be, in fact, totally boring. Luckily for us, boring people tend to favour early nights. So at 2 in the morning, we were minus 3 and down to 3- Princess, Ed and me. Ed is charming and quite the looker- with beautiful grey eyes. (Seriously, they’re too beautiful- I don’t like it if guys have prettier features than me..pfffft)

That’s not the point. The point is he had to leave because he was coming down with something. At this point, it feels like one of those ships that has sprung a leak and we’re desperately tossing pianos and cannons overboard to lighten it. We are officially zero deadweight now. BRING IT!

And so it comes to pass that the very millisecond that the two of us are on our own, ten billion idiotic desi men start crawling out of the woodwork and make worthless attempts to charm our pants off. Heights of previously bitched-about desiness are reached.

Stage right- enter skinhead.

Skinhead: Are you from SPJ?
Me: Huh? (Is this the best opening line he can come up with?)
Skinhead: Are you from SP Jain?
Me: No
Skinhead: Oh, then?
Me: Then what? (geez, is he going anywhere with this?)
Skinhead: Where are you studying?
Me: I’m not a student. (This whole shit about being mistaken for an underage person has got to stop, it’s happening way too often and I’d stopped carrying ID for a while thinking hey I’m not 19 anymore!)

Skinhead makes several attempts to buy me a drink and I keep refusing and buying my own. He also asks a thousand other questions about which village my ancestors are from, what bloodgroup I am and other such questions that are usually found on organ donor forms. He and his useless friends (who are marginally less ugly) are still following me around the club while Princess and I make failed attempts to change co-ordinates. It’s embarassing.

Later that night…

Skinhead: What’s your last name?
Me: I’m not telling you my last name! (What is WRONG with this guy!?)
Skinhead: Are you on orkut?
Me: No!
(oh no…this is bad)

Me (to his friend): Umm.. your friend says he wants to stalk me on orkut.
His friend: If you’re on orkut, then I want to stalk you.
(Oh no…that is the last time I’m giving out my real name)

Well, nothing else is of importance here except that I was denied entry to another club later that night/dawn because I didn’t have ID. Motherfuckers. I tried showing them my credit cards (because usually that works, they don’t expect 18 year olds to carry platinum credit cards) but it didn’t work. Mostly because the bouncer was an asshole. I mean come on, you can allow flabby, saggy, over-the-hill hookers but you can’t allow a decent little sweetheart like me? Well fuck em. A curse on their club, I say. A pox on their club!! Ooga booga waka laka ayyyyy!

I had breakfast at McDs with Princess and another guy we befriended. (He knew about Chanel’s Black Satin nail enamel.) I went to bed at 6.30 and woke up at 4 in the afternoon the next day. Then I watched Zoolander. Guffaw..it’s such a funny movie.

We were both mighty jobless so Casa and I got dressed and went shopping at 9 pm. Within the next 45 minutes, I managed to spend two hundred dollars on two lovely pairs of shoes, one dress and one dress shirt. The shirt is the purple scarf print Pucci-esque one I was raving about some time back, remember? And the dress is a low-waist mini dress that makes me look super-curvaceous. I know it’s cliched but…I have it and I certainly can’t hide it, so I might as well flaunt it!

I don’t care what you think, retail therapy works. Those smiling attendants at shoe stores are the best shrinks ever. We were happity-happy. I bought pumps with tartan print and silver bejewelled gladiator sandals (aka EXTREME BLING). There’s a very Bling silver dress at zara that I am coveting. Ermm.. very impractical and blindingly bling, but…

There’s more. Dinner was absolutely fantabulous at you’ll never guess where. Superdog!
They have this delicious chickendog with fried onions and fried capsicums and cheese.. so.frikkin.tasty! And fries and lemonade…

And that is how this weekend whooshed past. I didn’t even have time to sleep. Well not nearly enough anyway.

Oh and those blithering morons did find me on Orkut. Woe is me.

P.S. Sounds like someone doesn’t have a bad case of the Mondays!
P.P.S. I forgot to tell you that my beautiful British shirts arrived two weeks back and they look absolutely lovely.Did you know that James Bond and the Royal Family also shop at Jermyn Street?

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7 thoughts on “Another night

  1. See, things were soooooo terrible not too long ago and look at this. You’re inhaling gallons of Ice cream and being stalked by random Organ Harvesters on an Internet Community. And you paint your life as such the victim at times :POh, side note, Stuffed capsicums, Throw in a little touch of Taragon. Nothing strong enough to be picked out, but it tends to accentuate the other spices. They’re wonderful. Over-dosing on taragon also helps introducing spicey foods to people like me who are spice-redundant and feel like satan is wizzing on my tounge when I eat a chili.As for the random skinhead boys, you can’t blame them. The removal of a guy called Edward, is simply the biggest indication of girls to be charmed. Edward screams goof.And Playing 20 questions is a tried and tested way of trying to find out something to connect with a girl. All the tried and tested methods usually work eventually. Personally, at 2 in the morning, I would of gone with the primary school “Hey I like you, *runs up to girl, punches her arm, and runs away*”. Ah, the intricate dance of dating, was so much simpler back then. Was less flowers of awesome presents of affection, and more physical and verbal abuse. Strange how that cycles around in many relationships.Okay, that was terrible :PAnyways, Truthfully, if you wanna shake boys while moving across a club, simply walk a pentagram across the floor, walking slowly. Maybe this works, because of the someone vodoo inscribed into it, or the evidence of the symbol being of female worship blah blah blah. or maybe it works because guys get tired of following you for 5 minutes as you walk, and if they don’t you can scream stalker, because SOMEONE else would of seen them following you.Personally, stick with the vodoo. Nothing scares a boy more than a goats brain.Oh, and why would I know that, you, of all people, would like Zoolander. Personally, I think Ben Stiller can burn and Die. Infact, he deserves to be stabbed with one the shoes you bought. I’m sure they’d be sufficently pointy.Oh, and what are your ancestors? I really dont’ know anything about anything, but you treat it so nochalently, I’m sure you’re hiding it. Its a secret isn’t it. You’re actually decended from Dinosaurs, you wench. I wanna be a dinosaur.

  2. Kriss…that was a HUGE comment…lucky your’e witty and it wasn’t a pain to read it :PSounds like you had a great weekend!! Boo to you then. I had a boring one albeit going to the beach, feeling like a whale and getting a tan which is JUST what I wanted :PI wouldn’t trust Internet stalkers…had a very bad experience with one through the site hi5 who stalked me, my sis and her boyfriend and tried to get me and my sis to sleep with him for $1000…EW. But a total random case you have nothing to worry about 😛

  3. Kris-See? This is why I miss you!The boys in my school were just like that.. they used to have physical fights with me, and call me names and make fun of my hair. Those @#*(@!#$!!And oh my god, have you seen Skeleton Key? They do this crazy shit called Houdoo (not sure how it’s spelled) which is like voodoo, only scarier. I’m totally carrying a broom and several pieces of white chalk with me next time I hit the clubs.How can you not like Ben Stiller? Adam Sandler- granted.. but Stiller? The man who said “The Derek Zoolander center for kids who can’t read good (and wanna do other stuff as well)”? Come on! And I did descend from dinosaurs..hopefully the pretty kind. You descended from a tentacled monster, didn’t you? No wait, that is what you’re evolving into. Aha!Casa- And they’re here..let’s go pick up and buy more while we;re at it!silvara-Sucks right? I had one guy call me at odd hours (I took my phone number off the site after that)Wendelin- Sure, but first.. What is an RSS feed and how do I get it?(something tells me you just slapped your forehead?)

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