black coffee

They say coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love. And when it is like that, it will keep you awake for hours at night when you’re supposed to be sleeping. I’ve been drinking so much coffee, so many extra expresso shots that it’s not even funny! The weekend was jam packed. I have been incredibly stressed out and in a positive way. That is of course if you consider having stressful weekends mildly positive. My family has been incredibly supportive of my choices, they talk to me twice a day (which was NEVER the case), discuss technicalities and generally egg me on. I enjoy having someone to rant to twice a day about how stressed out I am and how much coffee I’m drinking.

You ought to see my To-Do list. I believe it’s not a list anymore. It’s like a battle strategy plan or something equally big and tough and manly. Pffft. And it’s taking me a lotta time and energy to strike even item out of my to-do-war-chart. There are these totally cute blue, orange and green stickies on my macbook and they’re glaring at me in fluorescent mockery with things to do, forms to fill, people to call. There’s pre-reading- I need to read some fat textbooks before term starts. I have to take an exam in May which I obviously need to study for. The only glitch is that I’m not registering for the classes, just the test. So it’s gotta be self-study. Also I need to choose the right level- I could easily clear the minimum but I could also risk the next level. Should I? Will it be worth the risk?

My tax deduction came through. I have paid a shocking amount of tax this year. That has little to do with the grossness of my salary and a lot to do with the fact that I don’t get enough relief. Oh well, tax is tax and must be paid. Basically what this means is that the amount after deduction is barely enough to cover rent and loan payments for this month and I am back to square one i.e. subsisting on roughly 200$ from mid-Feb to April end. Yep, you heard me. I missed the salary deadline at the new firm and I don’t get paid for March. Whoopdee-fucking-do.

On the bright side, I didn’t spend on lunch throughout last week and cooked dinners on all weeknights. I also cooked weekend lunches. I used the money saved on two Mexican dinners and …umm.. one embroidered top. I KNOW I SHOULDN’T HAVE. DON’t SAY IT! It’s very pretty- it’s a white sheer heavily bejewelled vest. Fine, I admit it was a bit stupid on my part but I’m living like a beggar, people! I don’t even take cabs anymore!

Lunches are shorter these days when ironically I could end up running more errands during lunch. Sigh. Today I worked up a sweat running to the post office. I’m having some kinda sordid affair with post office- I can’t not go, I am satisfied about getting things done but I so don’t wanna come back even though I know I will. Two days back I had to send a fax, today I had to send registered post and on wednesday I have to pick up a fucking courier. Ugh. It doesn’t help that the post office is a long walk and up three flights of escalators.

In the midst of all this, I forgot my dental appointment today. The second stage of treatment is going to commence soon. Oh God. Keep me strong. Obviously, this is SO NOT THE RIGHT TIME to be out the money another two thousand dollars, but it can’t be helped can it?
I’m looking at all kinds of loans from all kinds of banks-local local banks, foreign local banks, foreign foreign banks. 6% compound versus 12 % simple, collateral or no collateral, mortgage or murder. So many questions, decisions, signatures.

The universe works in mysterious money-dissolving ways.
Consider this another essay in a series of scholarship-soliciting essays that I am currently spending day and night writing. Liked reading this? Felt sorry? Send me money.


One thought on “black coffee

  1. LOL….I know the exact feeling – my eyeballs are on permanent OPEN due to the amount of coffee I have ingested because I have goddamn job applications due in the next 2 days!I was also reading Cleo the other day and they were commenting on new lingo… apparently there is a new word – ‘blegger’…a person who begs through their blog. I’m guessing it applies to sad, no-life losers not beautiful, smart people like yourself šŸ˜€

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