lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

I had a very relaxing weekend almost all to myself – a welcome change after the previous one that left me ever so slightly dizzy. FriFri night at the pump room was dismal- seriously what is the bands here covering the lamest songs of the past 30 years night after night after night? It’s bullshit. Add to that the fact that White always makes short jokes in public-what is that all about? In fact, what is with everyone making short jokes anyway? Ha Ha. You don’t sound insecure at all..

I was telling Donnie about it this morning and guess what? he came through.. He said “I don’t think you’re short at all. For a man, I am short and I know it doesn’t matter” Oh my God Donnie came through! Hurrah! (I tell him he made my day and he types in a wink..aww)

I did meet some friendly people- this Argentinian girl who was very keen that I join her bunch after my friends left for the night, which I did. I also bumped into a future classmate- nice guy- who was with this local Indian guy (both are consultants). The brown guy obviously had to size me up with the “what part of investment banking are you from?” and “are you a trader?” and all that shit. So I got bored of them, left and spoke to Brendan instead.

After catching a relaxing lunch with White (no short jokes this time) and her girlfriend who was visiting from NY, I got home stuffed like a turkey and took a deliciously long 5-hour catnap with The Fray playing in the background. Then I made myself a nice dinner, watched Ray while eating. Went over to the Afghan’s place to play board games- it was totally fun sober style! I also did a teensy weensy bit of punk-style shopping- bought some hugeass headbands and several earrings (I keep losing my rings!!). Was reallly tempted to get another piercing..but decided against it. Some other time. The girls there tried to entice me into a nose/navel piercings but I am not sure that is my style. The eyebrow piercing is damn fucking tempting but..

I spent Sunday morning dressed like a hippie and hawking merchandise for the SPCA. The girl at starbucks thought I was a busker. That is.. well..that has never happened before. Came back home and spent the entire day doing nothing. Wanted to study but didn’t. Ate lunch, ate mangoes, cooked dinner, ate dinner, made milkshake, drank milkshake. Oh god, gluttony gluttony gluttony!

Mom called yesterday with the sole purpose of pissing me off. How? Well there’s another guy. But of course, there is always some guy! This one is a bona fide nerd, works in some research lab. His parents are related to some distant relatives of my dad’s- they met him in some fucking baby shower and asked about me. Jups is single, so ATTACK! I blame my dad for this- why does he entertain these people? Just because they ask for me doesn’t mean you need to appear so eager! So much for being proud of me. Apparently I am gonna be a withered old hag within this year and I’ll die alone if I don’t marry the next loser whose parents approach my dad. Nothing I ever do is gonna be good enough till I am plus one. And if I am so opposed to arranged marriage then I must present to my parents my boyfriend RIGHT NOW. And not just any odd boyfriend- he has to be a brahmin boy of the exact sub sub sub caste as me, but of course. It’s all a mountainload of bollocks. INBRED BOLLOCKS!

Where do I go to die? I lied. I said I wasn’t gonna marry some poor brokeass research dude because research dudes don’t get paid well. (I happen to know how much that lab pays, that info helped). This is ridiculous…I have to pretend to be a materialistic shallow whore to escape holy matrimony?! I’ve already made a ruckus about short boys, dark boys, fat boys, poor boys, boys living in India, boys living in the US. Quite frankly, I’m making up whatever I can!

Anyway.. we’re Monday and I am enjoying a sumptuous dinner of mango milkshake with a side of mango milkshake. At least it is appetising, which is more than I can say about arranged marriage.

Oh and listen to Panic! at the Disco.. great band!

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2 thoughts on “lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

  1. You remind me of my sister. She used to tell my mom she wouldn’t marry guys who looked too nice, guys who lived in what she called square states in the US, guys who wrote take care’s at the end of their emails… her excuses were extremely creative.

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