I want to break free

A new day.. a new tag. This will be the first of some (not many I hope) that will be tagged “the domestic life”. For the past few, I have also been (grudgingly) using the “being unemployed” tag. But it isn’t the Juice if it isn’t as brutally honest as a kick in the nuts is painful. so there.

So… the domestic life… this is how it begins…and bear in mind that being domesticated is all about the inane, the innocent and the ikea.

This morning I went to the friendly folks at singapore immigration to get my visa sorted. Sigh… even my visa is a reminder of my unemployed-ness. For what it’s worth, at least it is not a dependent visa. After that I went down to the post office to redeem 30$ of vouchers I received in the mail.

Hmmm.. 30$ to cheer myself up. My mind instantly wandered to the new shades of M.A.C eye makeup that I have been craving. Too bad. No M.A.C counter in this mall. WHY!?
I thought to myself,

“Hmm… whatever, there’s good ol’ Lancome”
“Maybe another Virtuose mascara?”
“Why not? 30$ free means that you only have to pay a pittance for it outta your own pocked”
“Hey why not that irridiscent eye shadow that adapts to the day and to the skin?”
“The pricey one? naawwww 30$ is less than half the price! No!!”
“Hmm… besides, it looks like it’s not in stock anyway”

As I hovered around the Lancome counter, three rich-looking tackily dressed oldish women started buying eyeliner.

“You’re not like them…look how annoying they are”
“Certainly not, I will use my powers for good”
“I mean.. maybe I should buy something for Brendan?”
“Yeah..but you don’t get shit for 30”
“something for the house?”
“a lamp? for the nightstand”
“yeah! that’s a great idea”

I beamed and took the escalator downstairs. I went straight to the kitchen appliances section and after much deliberation bought a rather cute blender. the voucher covered more than half the price.

Come to think about it, it is a little strange that a good branded blender and a good branded mascara cost the same. Makes ya think eh?

The satisfaction from the morning wore out quickly as I was waiting all day for a phone call. A call that never came. Life is so unfair these days. I went through a whole bunch of shit to take some fucking tests for this particular company and I think I did reasonably well. They were supposed to call the shortlisted candidates on the basis of the tests. Given they haven’t called me there are two possible explanations –
1. Maybe I flunked the other selection criteria
2. Maybe I did flunk the test which means that I have the intellectual capacity and sophistication of a retired llama.

* Bleet * (And yes, I was totally thinking of Kuzco, how did you know?)
(And if you don’t know who Kuzco is, maybe you should be turned into a llama)

I hate myself. If I am gonna have such miserable luck finding a job or if I am so miserably stupid that I can’t, then at least I should have had really long legs, straight hair and a tendency towards anorexia. Those women would make more than me for the first 35 years of their life anyway and they didn’t even have to go to high school.

Either that, or superpowers. If I had superpowers, I would incessantly annoy the hell out of every recruiter that’s ever dinged me. I’d turn invisible and pour soap water into their computers, swap their medications, poke pinholes in their condoms and reset their daily alarms.

“Nawww.. you’re not like them…”
“Certainly not, I would use my powers for good”


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