My mind is truly in disturbia, where it seems to spend most of its time. (I can’t help myself, that song is hot).

You know how they say there’s light at the end of the tunnel? Well sometimes, it’s light, sometimes it’s lightning. Just when I thought things were looking up, I got blindsided and how.

I am in a bit of a shit right now. I had a job offer until yesterday and it got revoked. The HR bitch (may she suffer from herpes) miscommunicated, misinterpreted and quite frankly misrepresented me, kept me waiting for over 2 weeks for a response on a simple clarification and when I called yesterday, I realised that the job didn’t exist anymore. You know what’s symptomatic of being screwed over? that there’s never one reason. It’s always twenty different reasons from “it’s the economy”, “it’s the weather”, “you went to spain” to “I don’t like you”. Inconsistent, Unprofessional and plain evil. And the manager who I seemed to respect at first (my mistake, what was I thinking?) also gave me a ton of attitude, sided with the HR bitch and basically asked me to shove it because he had a plane to catch and didn’t “have time for this”. It was like one of those lame breakups you see in bad movies. I got dumped big time. Assholes.

So well yesterday was pretty much spent crying crying and more crying. Not just because I lost the job but because I lost the only job I had managed to find in Singapore. And that just breaks my heart. You see, I love Brendan more than I imagined I could and I really wanted to be with him. And now because of this stupid mishap, I have to take a job in some random continent far far away from him.

There’s hardly anything positive happening in my life. I am broke, my shoe collection is dying, I am gaining back the 6 kilos I lost during b-school, I’m on the wrong side of 25 and did I mention no luck in the getting-a-job department? So what I am trying to say is that I have hit the proverbial bottom of the barrel. Which explains why the high point of today was taking a cab to have lunch with Brendan, bumping into an ex-colleague and later receiving an sms from her that said “your boyfriend looks cute”.

I need to find something to do for the next 2 months, something that will keep me here with him. The folks won’t let me while away time here when i could be whiling time away in India while getting judged by all and sunday. And come January, I will have to move somewhere I don’t even know yet. It’s ironic, a year ago, I would have jumped at a globe trotting uncertain as-the-weather job but now it seems irresponsible and unsatisfying. I guess this is what growing up must be all about?

My parents in an attempt to console me for the grand fiasco that happened yesterday said very casually, either marry him and stay in Singapore or take the other job NOW. I don’t understand parents, I never have. Funny how they make everything about marriage. Maybe if I am unemployed and married, it’s loads better than being unemployed and single? Not really, it isn’t. It’s just a question of who is the financial support, I thought. Then it hit me. And it really hurt.


11 thoughts on “Disturbia

  1. Jups, this may sound dumb, but then love does stay, when i was in a relationship that too a long distance one, it sucked big time that i couldnt be with him whenever i wanted too, and still i didnt give up. Just dont let the feeling die, thats all you can do at this moment, you really dont have another option..do you??As for the HR bitch thing, Chiennes en abondance dans ce monde, il ne faut pas que vous le savez?..Je vais prier pour que quand elle sort avec son mec, elle a un mal d’estomac !!tk cr

  2. Jups, many hugs and encouraging thoughts are being sent your way. Chin up!Speaking as someone who’s been in exactly your position 4 years ago (maybe worse, because my parents didn’t waste time saying THAT in a roundabout fashion), can I suggest you get a job, ANY job? November’s around the corner, the market for private tuitions ought to be good. Debate coaching is another really fun, lucrative option to be looked at once exam season is over. Coach three secondary schools (one in division A , B and C each, because otherwise there could be a conflict of interest once Julia Gabriel starts), and you’ll be set. 60 bucks an hour at least, baby. Just to tide you over until your real job comes a-calling, yes? Long distance can really really suck, though it’s not undoable. This will buy you time.

  3. Hey!I dont want to be the kinds who just bumped into ur blog and starts giving advice on life, but nevertheless. Long distance isnt for the faint hearted and am sure u will weather it out. Requires loads of effort from both parties….but what doesnt!! Go on gal, am sure things will work out just fine.

  4. D.O – I wish more upon that bitch that just a stomachache ;-)Anon – Well unfortunately, I have to take the job I have in hand..but yes, I do need to do something till Jan.. Who’s Julia Gabriel?Akila – yeah it’s less than ideal isn’t it? LDRs suck..Anon – free trade tool eh? that’s got to be in the top ten most tasteless remarks against women..Congratulations.

  5. Hey….you do have a job in another continent….see its not that bad! As for Brendan, it wld all work out…LDR sure sucks, both u guys got to stick it out. But don’t do it unless u guys are absolutely sure abt each other…I am in a totally messy LDR which is gettin worse with time. So, if he is the best thing that ever happened to you and u dont want to lose him…… make sure u have tried ething possible to find a job in s’pore.Good luck girl! -Ms.G

  6. Hey Jups, like anon said (the Ms G one, not the other screwball 11.02) try everything possible in SG before giving the LDR a shot. (wow, calling a long distance relationship LDR makes it sound like a disease!) Having been in one myself, I can tell you this much, all of us think we can do it, but the relationship will get strained. We were continents apart, and with our work schedules clashing, all we had energy to say everyday was Good morning honey and goodnight darling! We argued for no reason (example: “you didn’t call! who cares if you had breakfast with your ceo, you should’ve called and said you would call later!! Hrrmph) Not liking who I was becoming (Insecurity is one of the side-effects of LDR) I picked up my bags and moved to where he was, now three years, and a baby later, I can say I don’t regret my decision, but those years were the toughest on us. Don’t go through it if you can help it. Hugs!-mockingbird

  7. Ms.G – I’m trying harder than ever nowmockingbird – long time no see! My word, you did all that?! Nice to know you’re done with LDR.. For what it’s worth two of my friends had it long distance for 7 yrs.. they’re engaged and living together now :)DO- did you mean how’s it going? the french say comment ca va for that 🙂 the job hunt’s still on .. hope floats

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