My mind is truly in disturbia, where it seems to spend most of its time. (I can’t help myself, that song is hot).
You know how they say there’s light at the end of the tunnel? Well sometimes, it’s light, sometimes it’s lightning. Just when I thought things were looking up, I got blindsided and how.
I am in a bit of a shit right now. I had a job offer until yesterday and it got revoked. The HR bitch (may she suffer from herpes) miscommunicated, misinterpreted and quite frankly misrepresented me, kept me waiting for over 2 weeks for a response on a simple clarification and when I called yesterday, I realised that the job didn’t exist anymore. You know what’s symptomatic of being screwed over? that there’s never one reason. It’s always twenty different reasons from “it’s the economy”, “it’s the weather”, “you went to spain” to “I don’t like you”. Inconsistent, Unprofessional and plain evil. And the manager who I seemed to respect at first (my mistake, what was I thinking?) also gave me a ton of attitude, sided with the HR bitch and basically asked me to shove it because he had a plane to catch and didn’t “have time for this”. It was like one of those lame breakups you see in bad movies. I got dumped big time. Assholes.
So well yesterday was pretty much spent crying crying and more crying. Not just because I lost the job but because I lost the only job I had managed to find in Singapore. And that just breaks my heart. You see, I love Brendan more than I imagined I could and I really wanted to be with him. And now because of this stupid mishap, I have to take a job in some random continent far far away from him.
There’s hardly anything positive happening in my life. I am broke, my shoe collection is dying, I am gaining back the 6 kilos I lost during b-school, I’m on the wrong side of 25 and did I mention no luck in the getting-a-job department? So what I am trying to say is that I have hit the proverbial bottom of the barrel. Which explains why the high point of today was taking a cab to have lunch with Brendan, bumping into an ex-colleague and later receiving an sms from her that said “your boyfriend looks cute”.
I need to find something to do for the next 2 months, something that will keep me here with him. The folks won’t let me while away time here when i could be whiling time away in India while getting judged by all and sunday. And come January, I will have to move somewhere I don’t even know yet. It’s ironic, a year ago, I would have jumped at a globe trotting uncertain as-the-weather job but now it seems irresponsible and unsatisfying. I guess this is what growing up must be all about?
My parents in an attempt to console me for the grand fiasco that happened yesterday said very casually, either marry him and stay in Singapore or take the other job NOW. I don’t understand parents, I never have. Funny how they make everything about marriage. Maybe if I am unemployed and married, it’s loads better than being unemployed and single? Not really, it isn’t. It’s just a question of who is the financial support, I thought. Then it hit me. And it really hurt.