Today, I decided that I am not going to watch anything – no sitcoms, no tv, no nothing. So I am listening to music, intermittently cleaning my house, planning my friday night and contemplating about life, the universe and my lunch.
Under the bridge is a kick-ass song, it’s a song that captured the hilarious angst of my late teen years. (Isn’t it funny how everything from your teenage seems incredibly retarded and stupid in hindsight. It’s a huge “what was I thinking?”). Anyway, this isn’t about my teen years. The song is basically about a love affair with the city. And I guess for me now, it’s about leaving this city.
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
Okay, a tad melodramatic but can you believe the levels of suckage it is gonna be to leave? Pack up and leave? Even for a little bit, it’s going to suck. It’s going to be oh-so-difficult to pack up all over again and shop for the shit you need in a new house. The new place bit should be exciting but somehow right now, it isn’t.
Firstly I don’t know where I am going. It could be the US of A. And like, umm, that’s not a bad thing per se except that my feelings on that country are : Yeah it’s awesome, there’s a lotta junk food, nice people, great shopping and umm.. I never wanted to live there? Going to Wall Street at this time of the year.. I have mixed feelings on that.
It could be some place in South America. Brazil? Okay, it’s pretty and I have some close friends there but what in fuck’s name am I gonna do in Brazil after the initial excitement of beaches and awesome brazilian bikinis wears out? Argentina? I admit I am curious to visit the “paris of latin america” but visiting is very very different from living. And what about the possibility of 200% insanity when I grapple with the 15 hour time difference with Singapore? huh? huh? What? It’s like 4 am there? Oh sorry…
It could be Spain. Great. I speak super-bad Spanish and Europe is such a treat to live in with its exorbitant taxes and all-round astronomical cost of living. On the bright side, the time difference is not that major.
Sometimes I think I am way too young to just settle down in one place and that deep down inside I crave this uncertainty, this wanderlust. After all, I always wanted a job where I could travel to other parts of the world. It will look great on the CV too.
Then I think of the other things I wanted too – like saving up and buying my own place, actually living there, maybe with a guy I adore. Let’s face it, we don’t know any gypsies with 100 pairs of shoes nosiree those gals have a closet and it’s staying put! And wouldn’t it be so ironic that the traveling job ends up paying for the house? So much conflict… so much!
And now it’s bothering me that January is far far away and I have so much to plan!