unbreak my heart

Nobody wants to be lonely. We all want solitude from time to time but not the biting pangs of seemingly perpetual loneliness. I know this well. I have been there. More than I’d have liked.
I am fighting the urge to call him and text him.
It doesn’t really help that I am currently hosting a colleague from Spain who has the moral fibre and compassion of a hyena. She has been with her boyfriend for ten years, she doesn’t love him nor does she want to marry him and she flirts with other guys on the side and craves their attention. Meanwhile the poor boyfriend sits in another country and pays for her vacation tickets. So the irony isn’t lost on me when she tries to console my crying, pathetic self by telling me and I quote “things I won’t like to hear”. Thanks.
I have to likely move to Madrid in a few months. I am not going to. I hate Madrid. I really hate that city and there is no way in hell I am moving there. And the truth is, I never intended to move to Madrid. I intended to move back to Singapore and be with Brendan, with or without job. I wasn’t going to be apart from him living in crappy-ass provincial Madrid. So the irony isn’t lost on me that pretty soon, I will have no choice but to move to Madrid (and worse, be single there) and it would be my own naiivity for trusting him.


5 thoughts on “unbreak my heart

  1. Again, remind me what is it that you do for work? you are like an awesome world traveller! Is this for the job you were interviewing for? Why are you not moving back to S'pore? Please tell me things are okay between you guys, else give me brandon's address will go knock some sense into him! -G

  2. HeyHope things become ok fr u soon. Blv me I have been thru exactly whats happening with u right now so when i say i understand, it can be taken very literally!Hav been a long time reader and some time commentor and have all my fingers crossed fr u

  3. Hey Jups, you cannot be feeling down like this all the time. You need to see the bright side of things. Sure your love is far away but you have an awesome job, your friends and of course his love doesn't depend on where you live. Make the most of early-years in your career, and having an understanding man makes it all the more good. As for the loneliness, there's phone call, email, Skype – I'm sure you do all that. Cheer up dear, and look forward to all the nice things coming your way.xxx

  4. And pray, whats wrong with Madrid? It not Singapore yes, but time difference is much less than US-Singapore. I thought you loved Europe! And I'm not sure though, but doesn't your friend Casa, gathering from your posts, live in UK? So all that makes Madrid not-so-bad!

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