I don’t know how I got here. Well, actually, to some extent I do. I don’t know why though. I don’t know why my life is so unduly complicated.
The next 2 weeks will be immensely chaotic. There is a little bit of joy, a little more of sorrow and a whole lot of confusion. As of the end of August, my time in New York will come to an end and before I leave I will write a long and wonderful ode (and you know I never use that word) to this amazing and kind and fabulous city. But this is not that post.
My birthday is tomorrow. The calendar says I turn a year older but really, it feels like ten. I don’t know if I am where I should be at the age that I am. I don’t even know where I want to be anymore because I feel like the ground beneath my feet has been swept from under my feet.
All I know for sure is that a big and very important chapter in my life has now been closed unceremoniously and I did not see it coming. Maybe there were warning signs, but they were signs that I did not ignore, they were signs that I took steps to fix.
And I guess that means that a new chapter begins, whether I like it or not. I leave New York, but it will not be forever. I leave it for its more Asian, more expensive counterpart – Hong Kong. I move into a role that I think I will be good at. I move into an apartment that will be worthy of my fabulousness. I move into a life that I did not choose, but that I will have to make the most of.
Because when life hands you lemons, and by lemons I mean an ex-fiancé who knows naught about love or promises, make some motherfucking lemonade.
Single again. Happy Fucking Birthday to Me.