Break Even

I don’t know how I got here. Well, actually, to some extent I do. I don’t know why though. I don’t know why my life is so unduly complicated.

The next 2 weeks will be immensely chaotic. There is a little bit of joy, a little more of sorrow and a whole lot of confusion. As of the end of August, my time in New York will come to an end and before I leave I will write a long and wonderful ode (and you know I never use that word) to this amazing and kind and fabulous city. But this is not that post.

My birthday is tomorrow. The calendar says I turn a year older but really, it feels like ten. I don’t know if I am where I should be at the age that I am. I don’t even know where I want to be anymore because I feel like the ground beneath my feet has been swept from under my feet.

All I know for sure is that a big and very important chapter in my life has now been closed unceremoniously and I did not see it coming. Maybe there were warning signs, but they were signs that I did not ignore, they were signs that I took steps to fix.

And I guess that means that a new chapter begins, whether I like it or not. I leave New York, but it will not be forever. I leave it for its more Asian, more expensive counterpart – Hong Kong. I move into a role that I think I will be good at. I move into an apartment that will be worthy of my fabulousness. I move into a life that I did not choose, but that I will have to make the most of.

Because when life hands you lemons, and by lemons I mean an ex-fiancé who knows naught about love or promises, make some motherfucking lemonade.

Single again. Happy Fucking Birthday to Me.

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5 thoughts on “Break Even

  1. aww babe :(i'm so sorry…..but happy birthday?? make sure u go out and celebrate it in style, in true NYC fashion and forget the world!HK will give u a new adventure i am sure of it…*hugs*

  2. At first I thought, "Oh good, HK is closer to India and Singapore.. so this is good for Jups!". Then I read the part about your ex-fiancé. I'm so sorry…But don't let it all affect you too much. You'll do great wherever you are. Go all out celebrating your birthday in Manhattan cuz not many people get to do that!xx

  3. In the same shoes as you Babe! In the very same shoes with a birthday that's coming up in a little more than 2 weeks. And moving out of India by the end of this year. And have to finish stuff here which is now getting to my fucking nerves.Let's all make lemonade I say. But fabulous you are. And don't ever make a mistake over there.

  4. Hmmm… today I came upon a comment you had left long long long ago on my blog (like way back in 2005) and that brought me here. Sorry to hear about the tough time… but hey, its your birthday, so make the best of it. Hope you are drunk in NYC right now.Better ex-fiance than ex-husband! Glass half full 🙂

  5. Silvara – *hugs*the girl who ate too much – And i did just that Rakhi – Oh I am sorry to hear that…if you need to vent to an almost-stranger, I am here and I won't judge :)Apoo – I used to think that was hogwash but it seems more and more reasonable…so many friends going through divorce, it's not even funny

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