I will not obsess about him.
I will not overanalyze the cute things he says.
I will not watch, wait and wonder when he will reply to my email. And sms.
I will not gush like a school girl when he says “hey beautiful!”
I will not expect him to visit me in Hong Kong. Even though he said he would. Twice.
I will not ask God if it’s a sign that he has the same long term goals as I. I will not tell him.
I will not ask myself why a guy like that would fall for a girl like me.
I will not extrapolate into the future.
I will not pray that he calls me.
I will not think of him every time I see my new grey dress that I am sure he will love. Or when his first name comes up in a newspaper. Or the countries he’s from.
I will not think of him before going to bed.
I will not plan which restaurant we will have dinner in when he’s in Hong Kong.
And I absolutely will not fall in love.
I’m going to bed. Goddamnit.