party rock anthem

Wednesday was a very bad day that ended up getting salvaged in the evening. You see, a lot of things may have changed but one thing that hasn’t changed is my pure hatred for stupidity and stupid people and unfortunately for me (fortunately for my wit), my office is swimming in bumbling morons whose irredeemable stupidity dictates that they should have been declared brain dead years ago.

And therefore I think that it is utterly cruel that I got drafted without my volition to be part of the Christmas party planning committee. Last year, I was thankfully not involved nor did I attend. Instead I attended the New York version when I visited in early December for work. That was a ton of fun.

This bunch on the other is a motley crew of morons who make up in being annoying what they lack in creativity. Observe.

Me: Can we discuss the drinking game? Which one do you play
Dumb slag who wears ridiculously short candy-pink skirts and nude slip-style dresses (and she works in HR for fucking cryin out loud): It’s a drinking game
Me: Yes I know, what kind?
Dumb slag: Beer
Me: No what I mean is how do you PLAY the game? (thinking to myself, you fuckin’ idiot, get with the program)
Dumb slag: You drink the beer.
Me: Okay (I give up.. stupidity 1, jupiter 0)

While we were on the subject of games, drinking or regular, I must have given the committee a handful of decent game ideas. Some of them may have required suspension of brain-deadness and hence were swiftly ejected from the premises. Others were not considered and still others may have been described by other members of the braindead trust after which I would point out that
I literally just described this game 3 minutes ago.

Another colleague suggested karaoke – a good suggestion in my most humble of opinions. Dumb slag twisted it to “Let’s ask the senior management to sing for us because they enjoy it lass time.” That’s like if you went to doctor for a migraine and they give you a lobotomy (which coincidentally I need to have done before the next meeting).

At the end of the meeting, Dumb slag says, and I quote, “how about we go back and think about more ideas before our next meeting”. Quit fucking with me! What the shit is this! We just wasted a good 30 minutes having some 15 suggestions get thrown out the window for no rhyme or reason!
In other work news that makes my blood boil, my boss’s boss denied me a chance to go on a work trip to Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I’ve been in this role for over a year and not once have I been flown anywhere (training doesn’t count). My boss seemed to sympathize and hearing a kind word from him was the proverbial silver lining in the dark shit-filled cloud.

The evening was joyfully redeemed by going to a rooftop movie screening (reminded me of that Happy Poet screening in NYC) of the Princess Bride – it is what I call a truly awesomely bad movie though not in the same rank as Snakes on a Plane. Before the movie, I went to the gym – yes, the gym. Also known as the stinky little miniwhorehouse/pickup joint that I haven’t visited in eons because I am too self-conscious and because it is hard for me not to crank my face up in disgust when I see some slut in a sports bra and bikini bottoms lunge provocatively or climb the ladder machine suggestively. Umm..Who invented that turd?

Anyway my point is 30 minutes of running and a good session in the steam room with hair mask and face pack later, I felt good. Whiskey and cava made it gooder. Laughing my ass at the movie and then pigging out  on sliders and fries, goodest even. After which point, I may or may not have made a drunken call to Chris but in my defense he’d been texting me all day asking to meet up and I’d been persistently declining. Anyway the call didn’t go well (the way most things don’t when you’re drunk). I am meeting him tonight for a movie. Let’s see how that goes. Ah the joys of dating a student.

p.s. it’s getting harder to think up song titles. Ugh.


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