(non) date #6 of 2013

Déjà vu can be a very pleasant thing sometimes. Going to a quiz at a pub, I couldn’t help taking myself back to two years ago when I had my first date with orangetree – a date that I still think is one of the most romantic ones I’ve ever had. I did not expect the scientist to live up to Orangetree’s suave, ladykilling standards but I did expect him to be amazing at the quiz questions themselves. I am happy to report that there was a little bit of both last night. But it was also a bit like Lemony Snickets in that we were cursed by the powers that be. I mean we dropped two forks in a span of ten minutes!
I sat next to him and met his team, they all seemed nice, some even chatty (the non-scientists). The Scientist ordered a pie and I looked at him round-eyed and said “can I share it?” and he hesitated “ummmm”. Obviously I mocked him for that for the next one hour. I wasn’t planning to eat half his pie! (One point for Orangetree here?) Somewhere in the first ten minutes, the scientist invited me to a Sunday lunch which was basically the winnings from the previous time.

We kicked some serious ass at the quiz and I am proud to say that I did not suck. In fact, I had a knack for answering questions that no one knew and was instrumental in getting us a perfect score in two rounds! Like guessing that an animated python was from Rango! No one in the entire bar knew that. The scientist was predictably amazing – he knew so much and he was so sharp and fast and never had to guess. I love the way his eyes light up when he explains what he knows and how he knows – he really has beautiful eyes – big and blindingly bright and full of life.

By the fifth round, we were either already winning or were very close to. And actually we did but then we didn’t. Why? Because one of the guys had brought his wife along, she sat quiet the entire time, didn’t participate but she counted an extra participant. The quiz master penalized us a vulgar amount of points and we ended up losing. One of the scientists was so livid, he stormed off!
I was angry as fuck too but I kept it together. I was truly disappointed though. The scientist tells me that since they win so often, the quizmaster had it in for them the whole time as teams are never penalized more than 2 points for having an extra member.

And then there was the bonus round. Rapid fire questions. In my drunken rage, I won three questions i.e. 3 shots for the team. I think the scientist was impressed. In the process however, the first answer I got right was a South Park reference. First episode of South Park, Cartman gets a….. ANAL PROBE! I am henceforth miss Anal Probe at a certain bar in Wan Chai.

Somewhere in the last few rounds of the quiz when the tensions were mounting, we (not we, I) were both completely obsessed with winning. And he was holding my hand for extended periods of time. Déjà vu. It felt good, it felt normal. I know he wasn’t the sort to kiss me outright in front of his friends but I liked that he made the move to at least hold my hand. Of course we were such nerds that when the questions started, we’d let go of each other. Because evidently nerds need their hands free to think.

When the quiz ended, all his friends split and we stayed in our seats talking. Till 5 minutes later, one of them returned. What the…. A clueless, rather grungey old Northern Irish scientist who gets into the wingman hall of shame for his relentless albeit inadvertent cockblock. I gave the scientist plenty of chances to lose the idiot by going to the loo hoping that he would tell the dude to bugger off. One time, when I came out, only the scientist was waiting by the bar and I actually thought it had worked but then we came out of the bar, the Irishman was waiting for the two of us outside. Facepalm. And right before that I had, in a very obvious way, looked straight at the scientist and asked if HE wanted to get a drink somewhere else. The Irishman still didn’t get it.

We wound up getting kebabs at Ebeneezers and chatting about negative stereotypes about Iran. You see, I had nicked a page of the SCMP with a huge article on Iranians hating on Hollywood for him to read. He liked that I did that. He was getting all wound up talking about how he hated negative portrayals in movies while sipping on his beer. At which point, I took my kebab (already neatly cut in half upon on my request) and gave him half.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure… no wait ummmmm…of course I’m sure”
“You. Are. Amazing”, he said, very slowly.

In a final act of defiance, I took a taxi alone despite the fact that the stupid scientist datekiller lived in my neighbourhood. I gave my scientist a hug and the standard two pecks and got into my taxi.
He texted right away telling me not to feel bad about not winning because we did win and we had the moral highground. I said I was more pissed off about the third wheel. He said “I really wanted to kiss you” and asked me if I’d still be willing to give him a chance to meet him alone on Saturday. I teased him loads for being clueless and not knowing what to do (there were literally a million different ways to lose that moron!). He said that it was unfortunate but the Big Bang Theory was in fact a documentary not a sitcom. Points for wit.

Obviously I have agreed to the third date.

P.S. I hope you’re enjoying my date updates as much as I am enjoying writing them. Date #7 is tonight, with a lawyer I met in a bar a few weeks ago who randomly asked me out to an after-work drink. I am not counting on it to materialize though. Date #8 is with the scientist. Date #9 is with a guy who works in banking and has the cutest smile. Stay glued to the edge of your seats, darlings.

P.P.S I can’t find the log of my date with Orangetree. Where did it go?! Did I not write it?


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