coffee and tv

I have that feverish feeling when one feels a bit warm and tired and grumpy but doesn’t require a blanket and a wet washcloth. I have some 17 things on my to-do – a rancid combination of personal (social and financial) and work stuff (in turn a rancid combination of routine shite and brainy strategising). I keep adding more things to it before I can subtract things from it.

I have a lot of work to do this week and the next and that’s not a bad thing. Granted some of the tasks are utterly rubbish but overall it’s going okay. Plus I have an intern, who though not the sharpest tool in the shed, is actually helping lighten my load.

Social engagements are seeming very painful and it occurs to me that maybe I have been overdosing on them while giving precious home-time, precious me-time. I love my apartment, and I have missed it the last few weekends. I have missed my cloud-like couch and my kitchen. I have missed my beautiful bed. I was so happy to go home on Monday after a very long day at work. I ate two kinds of bruschetta with cherry tomatoes and avocados and a fried egg with delicious za’atar on top. I listened to opera music as I often do (I love it when arias give me goosebumps) while reading my boring CFA books. I chatted a bit with the scientist and this other guy who I find quite hilarious but haven’t had a chance to meet because he’s been in Tunisia this entire time. And then I went to bed. It was a lovely evening.

I ended up going out last night for a little meet up – a sort of social experiment, and a pleasant one at that, that Jin and Pink started a few weeks ago. And I found it exhausting. Maybe drinking grapefruit juice had something to do with it. Sobreity makes things duller. And the food was shitty (fucking Oola again with their rubbery pizzas and blubbery beefs) but the company was worse. I don’t want to get into the details but there’s a certain rockbottom level of conversation I am willing to tolerate and laugh with but this was below that. I felt like my spirit was being crushed under the weight of overdramatic, oversexualised and oversimplified chatter with a bit of bigotry thrown in for good measure. The only silver lining was the absence of a hangover this morning. Oh and Pink said I looked nice.

I am also stressed about my upcoming voyage of Sushi and Self-discovery in Japan. Japan seems like a whole other planet – I dont speak the language, I don’t know the culture very well – but it is an intriguing world and one that I have wanted to see for the longest time. I haven’t planned much yet and being busy at work hasn’t helped. I want to get my head around the cities and things I want to do before I finalise my hotels. It will certainly be the most expensive trip I’ve ever been on and but also one of the most fascinating ones too. I can’t wait to do the Hanamis, Ryokan-stays, Onsens, Shukubos, eat the ramens, the tofus, the sashimis and everything in between. I am so excited.

I am going to an art fair tomorrow. It’s supposed to one that sells affordable ouvres so who knows I may be able to buy something. In any case, I reckon that looking at pretty things will help my mood a bit. I scheduled a date for tomorrow (after cancelling it twice before) a while back but I sense that the guy is uninterested. His lack of enthusiasm on messages and chat isn’t amusing and I am hoping he doesn’t confirm the plan tomorrow so I can go home and enjoy a quiet dinner for one. Actually I am pretty sure this date won’t materialise. On Friday, I have a jazz concert to go to so if the art doesn’t help, the jazz and the memories of N’awlins it conjures up certainly will. Sigh…I wish I could teleport myself to that beautiful city right now. mmmm a muffalata…

I have two dates on Saturday and Sunday that I am looking forward to (sort of…not really but still). One is with Leonard (our last one till 2015 remember?) and the other is with a tall, dark Italian who was very prompt to schedule a date within only exchanging 2/3 texts. I figured I shouldn’t keep a man like that hanging too long.

But more importantly, I have  the entire days of Saturday and Sunday free for me-time and CFA study. I will make my favourite Vietnamese drip coffee with maple syrup, I will eat a lot of eggs and I will study a mega-ton. I promise. Ideally, I will finish at least half of one of my books. Then and only then will I go on my dates with gusto. And heaven forbid, if I don’t, I am faking dyssentry and getting out of them pronto!

p.s. Blogging is me-time. The fifteen minutes it took me to write this little rant despite having “un monton de trabajo” to do have been so cathartic.

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