I am feeling preeeettttty badass right now. You see, I (two thumbs pointing at this girl!) just had a Don Draper lunch. No, I am not talking about having old-fashioneds and disgusting shrimp cocktail in a smarmy restaurant that smells like second-hand smoke. No no, later season Don Draper – fucking Sylvia on the daily situation Don Draper. That was her name right? Whatever. Remember that episode where Don takes her to a nice hotel and just fucking leaves her there and says “don’t go anywhere” and then comes back and has sex with her?
Yeah, that’s what I did. It’s not my first time but I can’t remember telling you about it before. I met up with Ike last night and we had a fun romp as we always seem to do – we drank some wine, cracked some hilarious jokes, laughed like maniacs and did the thing that happy, consenting adults are supposed to do. I couldn’t afford to play hooky from work this morning so I woke up, showered and got dressed. Then I coyly sat on the bed next to him – he was still three-quarters asleep so I said he could continue to stay and sleep a bit more if he wanted (see, I can be nice) and perhaps I could swing by during my lunch break for a little afternoon delight. He agreed. I couldn’t reach his mobile the entire morning so when I gingerly turned the key into the door this afternoon, I was prepared for one of three scenarios – he’d still be there, asleep with phone switched off, he’d have left with phone switched off and never wants to see me again (FINE!) or he’d have ransacked my home and left, phone switched off and I’d never see him again which is not fine because come on, I would have to explain to friends and family why I am now a destitute with nothing to call my own. It would be the worst thing ever.
But he did not flee and so here we are. I have fucked up sex-hair, half-faded make-up and a stupid expression on my face. I gave him a ride to Central and kissed him goodbye on the lips right by my office. Fucking bold!
And then I bought a pizza to go and proceeded to devour the entire thing in less than five minutes. Then I skulled a black coffee and wrote this.
So yeah, I am feeling pretty bad-ass right now.