Trial and Trepidation

Bed, Bath and Way Fucking Beyond

Bed, Bath and Way Fucking Beyond

I am excited and nervous. 2014 is already bringing with it some game-changing dynamics as far as dating is concerned. You see, today, Ike and I begin a ten-day experiment in cohabitation, living together, being room-mates. It is fucking insane, utterly batshit and probably just crazy enough to actually work. Ike and I are complete opposites as far as our professional and academic profiles are concerned. But we have been inseparable since I got back from India. We get along like a house on fire without setting anything in my apartment on fire. I cook dinner, he does the dishes. He makes me breakfast and foamy soy lattes. He makes my bed…actually he arranged my pillows and sheets to form a huge and very anatomically correct penis – okay, there’s still some work to be done here. We sleep well together although it is debatable if 3 hours is an acceptable amount of sleep. More importantly, I am able to sleep in his presence without nagging thoughts inducing tossy-turny insomnia.

Are these reasons to move in together? Of course not. But we are “skipping steps” as Ike likes to say. And his roommates have relatives visiting for ten days. I said yes immediately when he asked, then I told him it scared me and then yesterday I told him to promise me that he would give me a break from him once the ten days were up. But this morning, I am excited and full of hope that this experiment could be fun. At the very least, there will be some anthropological learnings and let’s not forget some avant-garde, upside-down, no-room-left-behind fornication.

My apartment has little room, physical or metaphorical, for another person. And I cherish my solitude, I almost worship the quiet. My dinners and brunches with myself are not a chore for me, they are a ritual I enjoy. I never have trouble cooking for one person – and you people who moan about not being able to cook for yourself when you live alone, know that’s a fucked up way of thinking that reeks of self-loathing.

But I have not had trouble cooking for Ike either despite his casein allergy and his not sharing my irrational love for canned sardines. He says we are food-twins. Plus I am an amazing cook – the other day, I split a curry into portions, used greek yogurt in mine in accordance with the recipe and used tofutti sour cream in his. It turned out spectacular! And I don’t mind soy milk in my latte so we don’t have to buy two cartons. Once he had me cook a little more than what was necessary for the two of us. And I was putting the leftovers away, he reminded me that was my work-lunch for the following day. He made a delicious juice of carrot, mint and ginger for me when I was on the computer applying for a job. I am in turn in the process of making him give up napping. Ike and I might just bring out the best in each other.

I really hope and pray that he gets a job in Hong Kong soon. It was be grossly, wantonly cruel if he had to leave. I also hope that in the next ten days, we don’t drive each other mad or worse, away from each other.

Stay tuned for more.


6 thoughts on “Trial and Trepidation

  1. This is brilliant and we are happy for you!

    Seeing your bed reminds me- where is the picture tour of your super chic place you once promised us?

    PS: that penis is scarily realistic!

  2. I have been reading your blog religiously and so have my girlfriends (we often bring you up in conversation and affectionately refer to you as Jups).

    Love your writing, the honesty and humour in each story and kudos to you for always having a positive spin on life.

    You go Jups!

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