landslide

You know those days that just keep going down the gutter even though you try to resurrect your patience and the day every two hours, and it still doesn’t cut it?
Yeah, I had one of those days yesterday.

It was a terrible day at work- sick colleagues didn’t show up, the ones that weren’t sick were being ultra-bitchy in that very diplomatic way that makes me wanna stick scissors in a forehead (theirs or mine), etc, etc…

So I decided to go for a mani/pedi.. they always make me feel relaxed with their herbal teas and footrubs and what not. Found a lovely shade of maroon-red, very lady like.. my nails were looking fabulous and I was feeling very smug. But I was wearing pumps so I didn’t wanna have them ruined. So I purchased a cheap pair of sandals from the spa itself and walked back to office (very surreptitiously) in outrageous bronze rubber sandals… but anyway, I had protected the slightly-pricey nails and that was worth something. It even justified the purchase and the wear of questionable rubber sandals with prim and proper formals, for crying out loud!

I intended to leave the sandals in the office so I never would have to worry about getting pedicures on pump-days (which happens to be everyday anyway). One small step for me, one giant leap for grooming.

So when I was done for the day, I put my pumps back on and went home. And they fucking smudged. I was pissed to the hilt. Explain it to me… will ya? How in the name of all that’s beautiful can enamel applied at 1pm still be WET at 630 pm?
I didn’t get the memo about reinforced cement concrete nail enamel!! ARGHHHH!

Got back home, was kinda happy that it wasn’t a very late day. I was home at dinner time and there were leftovers from the previous night’s cooking. Shoved the grub into the microwave and started doing the dishes. La la la.. we arrange the plates, spoons.. we scrub scrub, we sponge sponge…la la la

What’s this? Two disgusting eyes peering at me from inside the sink… EEEEEEEEKKKKKSSSSS

*SPLASH* I reeled many steps back and projected the soapy water all over the kitchen floor.

That shitty excuse for an existence, that mo-fo-ing lizard… one of these days…I swear..one of these days.. It crawled out with great slippery difficulty out of the sink (why even go there?) and hid behind the sponge. MY SPONGE! I could still see the icky feet..

Did I mention that this piece of shit was missing a tail? Now, now… ANYONE who’s attended at least one science class in lower secondary knows that a lizard can dismember its own tail in the face of danger…so if this #@$(&*% considered me dangerous enough, there would be……….

……..a dismembered tail in my sink….As if my day hadn’t been unpleasant enough already.

The next twenty horrific minutes were spent carefully inspecting each and every piece of dinnerware with two fingers, turning them over once, and then twice, and then washing it with tons of soap. But the Gods were kind and no tails were found. Small mercies.

I redeemed what was left of the night by watching Munich and taking a mini-practice test.

Eric Bana for the battered soul…mmmm hmmmm.